Army Rumour Service

Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Merry Christmas you pack of sad, ugly bastards ;)

I've adopted a more traditional approach this year. I've just flicked a shiny ha'penny at the beggar outside Tesco with a cheery seasonal retort to his feeble request of 'Any spare change mate?' Given most of my money is tied up in stocks, offshore accounts and several acres of the Home Counties, he should think himself lucky I had this solitary relic of our once proud numismatic past languishing in my Barbour. The cheeky rogue was speechless. Probably with emotion. I then popped next door to Lidl to purchase the plumpest goose they had. I fucking love Christmas!
 
We rightly remember the fallen who gave their lives fighting for their country in the various conflicts the UK and it’s allies have fought in since the First World War and we thank the many others for their service including some who currently haunt these pages and have suffered sometimes devastating injuries.

I think it’s right to add this time around given the pandemic that’s hit us this year, another dimension to our thoughts tomorrow on Christmas Day.

Everyday, many thousands of NHS frontline staff, Doctors, Nurses, Care Assistants and many others are routinely placing themselves at considerable risk from the pandemic.

Carers in nursing homes and residential care homes are also finding themselves in the frontline providing hands on care to the vulnerable and elderly people including all those who have been infected with COVID-19 and who must rely on them for the care they need.

Many of these care workers have suffered serious life threatening illness and most sadly, some of them have lost their lives treating those who have been struck down by this illness.

So let’s for a few moments tomorrow on Christmas Day add them to our thoughts as well and think of them, think of the lives they have saved and remember, the battle goes on.

Don’t forget, while we are celebrating the day tomorrow, the colleagues they have left to carry on the work will still be there looking after the sick all day and every day after for some considerable time yet until this terrible disease is finally defeated by vaccines now being rolled out.

All of them and especially those who have lost their lives in this pandemic deserve at the very least, a few moments of reflection tomorrow for what they have done for us all.

All that said, I personally wish all arrsers a merry Christmas, a happy and prosperous new year and a safe new year which will hopefully see us end the pandemic and return to our normal lives.

Lastly, seeing as this is in the NAAFI, you can rip the shit out of that!
 

jarrod248

LE
Gallery Guru
I've adopted a more traditional approach this year. I've just flicked a shiny ha'penny at the beggar outside Tesco with a cheery seasonal retort to his feeble request of 'Any spare change mate?' Given most of my money is tied up in stocks, offshore accounts and several acres of the Home Counties, he should think himself lucky I had this solitary relic of our once proud numismatic past languishing in my Barbour. The cheeky rogue was speechless. Probably with emotion. I then popped next door to Lidl to purchase the plumpest goose they had. I ******* love Christmas!
I always think it odd when they ask if I have a spare cig. Replying of course not, I smoke them all.
 

jarrod248

LE
Gallery Guru
We rightly remember the fallen who gave their lives fighting for their country in the various conflicts the UK and it’s allies have fought in since the First World War and we thank the many others for their service including some who currently haunt these pages and have suffered sometimes devastating injuries.

I think it’s right to add this time around given the pandemic that’s hit us this year, another dimension to our thoughts tomorrow on Christmas Day.

Everyday, many thousands of NHS frontline staff, Doctors, Nurses, Care Assistants and many others are routinely placing themselves at considerable risk from the pandemic.

Carers in nursing homes and residential care homes are also finding themselves in the frontline providing hands on care to the vulnerable and elderly people including all those who have been infected with COVID-19 and who must rely on them for the care they need.

Many of these care workers have suffered serious life threatening illness and most sadly, some of them have lost their lives treating those who have been struck down by this illness.

So let’s for a few moments tomorrow on Christmas Day add them to our thoughts as well and think of them, think of the lives they have saved and remember, the battle goes on.

Don’t forget, while we are celebrating the day tomorrow, the colleagues they have left to carry on the work will still be there looking after the sick all day and every day after for some considerable time yet until this terrible disease is finally defeated by vaccines now being rolled out.

All of them and especially those who have lost their lives in this pandemic deserve at the very least, a few moments of reflection tomorrow for what they have done for us all.

All that said, I personally wish all arrsers a merry Christmas, a happy and prosperous new year and a safe new year which will hopefully see us end the pandemic and return to our normal lives.

Lastly, seeing as this is in the NAAFI, you can rip the shit out of that!
Can you write an essay about that? I haven’t read it mind.
 
Can you write an essay about that? I haven’t read it mind.

Read it tomorrow. Surely you’ve got fuck all else to do?! :)






Happy Christmas!
 
Sad, Ugly bastard? I’ll have you know my wife thinks I’m an Adonis








And so does her guide dog.

Merry Christmas wankspangles!
 

Yokel

LE
Nicola Sturgeon's Christmas Tree?

I suspect she is not unlike the Grinch - she cannot go around saying "The English bastard Tories wanted no deal to put Scottish families in the workhouse" any more. Boris has sent you a present Nicola - once in a generation.
 

bentobox

Old-Salt
We rightly remember the fallen who gave their lives fighting for their country in the various conflicts the UK and it’s allies have fought in since the First World War and we thank the many others for their service including some who currently haunt these pages and have suffered sometimes devastating injuries.

I think it’s right to add this time around given the pandemic that’s hit us this year, another dimension to our thoughts tomorrow on Christmas Day.

Everyday, many thousands of NHS frontline staff, Doctors, Nurses, Care Assistants and many others are routinely placing themselves at considerable risk from the pandemic.

Carers in nursing homes and residential care homes are also finding themselves in the frontline providing hands on care to the vulnerable and elderly people including all those who have been infected with COVID-19 and who must rely on them for the care they need.

Many of these care workers have suffered serious life threatening illness and most sadly, some of them have lost their lives treating those who have been struck down by this illness.

So let’s for a few moments tomorrow on Christmas Day add them to our thoughts as well and think of them, think of the lives they have saved and remember, the battle goes on.

Don’t forget, while we are celebrating the day tomorrow, the colleagues they have left to carry on the work will still be there looking after the sick all day and every day after for some considerable time yet until this terrible disease is finally defeated by vaccines now being rolled out.

All of them and especially those who have lost their lives in this pandemic deserve at the very least, a few moments of reflection tomorrow for what they have done for us all.

All that said, I personally wish all arrsers a merry Christmas, a happy and prosperous new year and a safe new year which will hopefully see us end the pandemic and return to our normal lives.

Lastly, seeing as this is in the NAAFI, you can rip the shit out of that!
Very well put sir, salutations to all.
 

Ciggie

GCM
I suspect she is not unlike the Grinch - she cannot go around saying "The English bastard Tories wanted no deal to put Scottish families in the workhouse" any more. Boris has sent you a present Nicola - once in a generation.
I know you arent on the same dope as me tonight because I'm doing a personal special ( mild...ish) mix, but would you care to pm me a contact to your pharmacist .
 
I know you arent on the same dope as me tonight because I'm doing a personal special ( mild...ish) mix, but would you care to pm me a contact to your pharmacist .
Yokel's drinking Mad Dave's Cloudy Scrumpy which can also be used as a horse disinfectant. Not a metal polish though as it corrodes steel.
 

StBob072

LE
Book Reviewer
Happy Christmas to you ciggie and all ladies, gentlemen and other toilets who use this site for their various dubious purposes. Bottoms up xx. :hic:
 

Ciggie

GCM
Yokel's drinking Mad Dave's Cloudy Scrumpy which can also be used as a horse disinfectant. Not a metal polish though as it corrodes steel.
I have only two words for you...Old. Rosie.

OK, not a beer, but that's all. Oh, and Churchwads, tis good as all the Torbay muckers on here will attest. Before the days when globalisation ripped the tits out of enjoying mainstream alcohol and drugs.
 
So it's that time of year again... as a pisspoor Buddhist I technically shouldn't give a **** about Christmas, but as I just said, pisspoor. This one is extra-special because I nearly didn't get to the party. thank you Arrsers for seeing me through a tough time and keeping a smile on my face,and .special thanks to all who pm'd me to ask about my boot size ;). You're a pack of diamond geezers and geezerettes. Admittedly a pack of cnuts as well, but hey, nothing's perfect. I think I can safely say I'm in the clear now, for the time being at least and am back to eating like a bird, drinking like a fish ( albeit a minnow ;) ) and smoking dope like rhe late, great Bob. What? Where's everybody gone and why is the door to Dead Pool 2020 swinging ???

Talking of Mr Marley, this is my mate, his sound engineer's favourite Christmas song and is mine now too. Enjoy!!!! A very Merry Christmas to you all and to all your loved ones !!!!


Merry Christmas you dripping spunk trumpet....
 
And of course let's spare a thought for those on duty over the Christmas period......Actually, nah, fcuk 'em!
Merry Christmas everybody :santa:

8 UDR_LI.jpg
 
I have only two words for you...Old. Rosie.
Pah, that is a lady's cider my lord. Mad Dave brews his from the stuff Westons throw away.

On a less stupid note, I did like how you could walk into several Bristolian corner shops that, in addition to the usual newspapers, fags etc. would also sell you a half gallon of cider of dubious provenance in a plastic jug.
 

Yokel

LE
Yokel's drinking Mad Dave's Cloudy Scrumpy which can also be used as a horse disinfectant. Not a metal polish though as it corrodes steel.

Not had a drink this year. I just do not like SNP types and Wee Nicola has been wetting her panties at the thought of a no deal BREXIT and being able to blame it on Westminster.

I know you arent on the same dope as me tonight because I'm doing a personal special ( mild...ish) mix, but would you care to pm me a contact to your pharmacist .

Hmm! I just recognise that a lot of unpleasant politicians have just had their plans for the New Year ruined.
 
On a less stupid note, I did like how you could walk into several Bristolian corner shops that, in addition to the usual newspapers, fags etc. would also sell you a half gallon of cider of dubious provenance in a plastic jug.

Well, it goes some way toward explaining Stokes Croft.
 

Latest Threads

Top