Featured Mental Health - Time to Talk

If people need help out of hours, call the GP practice who will likely have a recorded message about the out of hours service, call it or go to A&E.

 

Thanks jarrod.

I wrote my latest post after yours without reading this one I'm replying to.

I think I'll just shut up and play my guitar!

 

This is true. There's always someone on duty to take a suicide call. But I'm not suicidal, I never have been. I never will commit suicide. Fact. It's ideation, compulsion of thoughts and you can't cry wolf too many times.

What about anxiety attacks and panic attacks, can you call the suicide squad out for that? Probably best not to.

I think it's good though you pointed that out, though, just in case anyone was in doubt. Sincerely. I did not mean to give any other impression. Apologies if I did.

My demise is a kind of slow burn version of destruction where people say 'you are lazy', 'you are dirty', 'you are not serious'. I didn't want the post I just aborted to be about suicide, I wanted it to extend further, to provide real world solutions, to others, so they don't get to that stage, coz some do. Yes my posting is part therapy, but it was also about moving the whole thing forward, about helping others who can be helped, and focusing on things external to myself.

Personally, if I really had decided to top myself, I would not be calling anyone at all. Not going to happen.

There is a paradox in there. And from that paradox comes all kinds of misunderstandings. It is the root of the abuse you suffer from the very mental health professionals who are meant to help you. I'm not sure there is a way around this impasse.

There are many things that a person can do to make their situation better.

I've been going round in ******* circles now for at least ten years and I'm just bloody tired of it all.

I've got a pretty good set of notes for my MP now (ah ah) though, so it hasn't all been in vain.


How do I envision mental health in the next 20 years in this country?

The way it's going at the moment, the true crazies will flip out and get swatted by the police - the MHS won't even have to deal with them. The true depressives will keep their mouths shut and in quiet desperation take the sensible way out, preferring not to suffer any more, after asking for help several times.

I'm sorry if my post sounds a little off the rails jarrod, maybe it is. I don't mean to be combative. I see us on the same side, with you also being one of the good guys (one of the true good guys).

I really am at a loss to express myself.

 

You've nothing to apologise for, it's fine to post here I'm sure.
You sound depressed but I'm sure you know that. Self neglect, poor motivation like you've mentioned are common with depression. If you're not on antidepressants get some. If you are on them ask about a higher dose or changing the medication. There's many people on here with mental health problems and drug/alcohol problems.

 

This is a hard 'read' - but exactly what a cry for help sounds like. Very well written - and most would not have the patience to follow it - but I admire what 'grit' it takes to talk it through. Hope all goes well for you. Well done. (There are however, many inquiries into some anti-depressants - side effects, and bad outcomes - so tread warily).

 

I find that ViroBono appears to have a confrontational attitude to anyone who queries his replies:
<How could this be achieved if no-one talked about it?>

<And, of course, the original topic of the thread was some research which was keen to get veterans' views on services. Do you think they shouldn't bother?>

How did he come to the conclusion that I was against anyone talking problems out??
<Do you think they shouldn't bother?>

I have no idea about WHO ViroBono is on this thread - but I now have TWO issues about an attitude response. And I'm not reading other posts - just what comes up in this issue. No doubt there will be another such response to this post: 'I'm a moderator, so don't dare take me on.'

 

You can accuse VB of having an attitude as much as you like, it is a free(ish) world afterall, however I'd suggest you have one of your own after reading that.

 

Are you quoting someone?

 

He's quoting my reply to a post of his. I was pointing out that he'd taken a post out of context, and showing that I'd actually made the point he was making, much earlier in the thread; he appears not to like this, and has made some fairly wild assumptions and accusations. I'm not taking it too seriously, and suspect he is just trying to close down the debate if people don't agree with his viewpoint (and sometimes, it seems, even if they do!).

His posts are quite difficult to follow because he doesn't use the quote function.


@Yoda The Senior - everyone has a view that is informed by their own experience, and is unique to them. Some may have experience of suffering poor mental health, some may work in healthcare (perhaps in mental health), and some may have experience of both. I think it is interesting to hear those views and experiences, even if people don't always agree (perhaps because of those unique experiences and viewpoints), and as long as you are civil and don't start attacking the person rather than the argument, there's no reason why you'd be subject to moderation. In fact in this particular thread I'd be much more lenient because some people posting in it may be unwell, and/or lack insight.

What I think is most important is that there is open discussion about mental health (both talking and listening), because without it stigma and discrimination will continue. Accordingly, I am likely to take a dim view of anyone who tries to close down discussion.

So you must be prepared to be challenged, and to back up the points you make, or the discussion becomes pointless, and that would be a great shame, and a disservice to others.

 

Cheers that's why I wasn't following, didn't look back because I could've needed to look through it all or none.

 

I never did gather the energy needed to flesh out those 2000 words notes I wrote. I still have them. Real alternative remedies for people going through hard times. Legal. Effective. Quick. I'll get to it later. It's not going anywhere. In fact, I've gone a bit deeper with it again.

My card is truly marked with this one, but in for a penny...

Things have got much worse for me. My state of mind has seriously deteriorated again since the last time I posted. I'm ok. I've got methods in place to deal with this. What I have no control over is external influences. They keep hitting me. It's a serious run of bad luck. I'm sure I'm not unique.

I've been taking a certain type of atypical anti-depressant for, oohhh nearly ten years now. My doctor's surgery is under pressure. I don't like going in there. They make sure it's at the chemists for me. The receptionists played serious hard ball with me however, and effectively stopped my main route of medication. It's not their fault. They are great gals, and on the whole, they really like me. I buy them nice flowers. But still...

So, medication not taken for six months now. Not a big deal, because it doesn't work. It does help to regulate my sleep patterns though, and that is a big big thing with mental health. I got a prescription again a couple of months ago, when I was unable to eat. I had rapid weight loss. A form of anorexia I suppose. I had to force feed myself. This is why I have not posted since.

The tablets I take promote eating and make you heavier. Though they didn't do that with me. They maintained my weight. When they were gone, my body started to eat itself and I had all the problems that entails. So, anyway, I got my bloods back and I'm all good, again. I was offered a doubling up on the anti-depressants, but I declined. I did not want to start taking another one on top of what I am used to. So, I take nothing at all. No big deal. They don't work, like I said.

The last weeks have been the hardest of my life. New events coming along. And today, I really needed them just to help me sleep. I have not slept for more than an hour or two for three days. I knew they were there at the chemists for me, so I went along. They were not there. My doctor did not fill out the script. I went back to the surgery to double check. No, no script for six months. My doctor did not do it. No problem.

I have other means to deal with things apart from medication. The receptionist said she would get a locum on call doctor to fill out the script and I told her in no uncertain terms: DO NOT DO THAT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, DO NOT CALL ME. She agreed. What happened. Four ******* phone calls later, disturbing me when I was meditating. She totally over rode my specific and polite request. Covering their arses? Sheer stupidity? Deafness? I despair.

I did not answer the phone. I would have taken it off the hook, but my step father just had heart surgery and his whole upper torso is black and infected. He's in a bad way. He needs to get his chest cracked open again so they can change the pace maker to the other side. I need to keep the phone on, and these idiots are wasting my time.

I have an appointment with the practice manager in a few days. This is going to get sorted now.

I am not being listened to. I am almost made out to be a pest because of the lack of coordination of their services. I'm a pretty meek and mild fella as I'm sure you've been able to glean by my posts here. I come as I am. No front.

I've managed to start eating again and have put my weight back on. But you would hate me. My muscles have now totally atrophied. I'm skinny fat. I'm a ******* disgrace.

So, no medication for me. It's pretty innocuous stuff, like I said, I've been taking it now for nearly ten years, and this is the third or fourth time they have messed it up. I really do give up now. I dont' need it.

I'm focusing my time on writing ideas for real world application of helping others. I don't have mania. I'm not psychotic. I'm not mad, or bad, just sad. And those that work in mental health will know that one.

I'm quietly positive for the future, though I have some hard days that are going to hit soon. Very hard.

I'm not going to go too hard on the surgery and their **** up. It's just an innocent mistake. I'm saving my powder and mettle for the big one. Mental health services and therapy services. They thought I had gone away, but I was just festering in the corner.

Like I said, I have it all in perspective. I am not paranoid, or persecuted. I know what is going on. I'm struggling like **** with no friends or family to help me. I am totally isolated from humanity.

The whole mental health system in this country is not just 'not fit for purpose', it is a failed institution. I can sense them fighting tooth and claw because their incompetence is being exposed every step of the way.

I'm a man at the end of his rope. Nothing to lose. Yet still, they could not entertain me after all these weeks/months.

This is political now. It goes beyond MP level what I have in mind. They leave me no choice.

I'm going to ask for a meeting to express my feelings on the matter, if they indulge me, I'll let it go, if they don't, there'll be war. I won't win of course, but maybe I will be able to sleep at night.

I'm not a narcissist either, I don't take great insult at any perceived sleight. But they are taking the piss now.

It's a good job I have my methods in place to find some equilibrium. I'll drop an essay on that in the future, as I told you, I have the main notes. It is hard with no friends, no family, no medication, and battling the people that are supposed to help you, just so they can save their arse. But I'll get through.

I'm sure I've really gone up in your estimation. I'll probably drop back in, in another couple of months to let you know how I got on. I wouldn't want this stigma and leprosy of mental illness to spread any further. But people like me don't go away. Some of us take the short road, and some take the long one...

Thanks. Sorry for the 'essay'. I hope to have a couple of proper ones for you next time.

And I say all this respectfully, as this is a thread for veterans (which I am not).

On that note, I'd just like to offer my condolences one last time for the Duke of Westminster. May he rest in peace. He was a man of true integrity and mettle, as those he benefited have attested to. God rest his soul.

 

Report has been published:
https://www.england.nhs.uk/commissioning/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/veterans-mh-services-engagement-rep.pdf

 

Does the report mention that you're an attention seeking tw@t?

 

Aye it has, it was also posted in another thread 2 days ago.

 

TommySun - This would make a great BLOG. Start up a website.