Mental Compensation Claims

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by the_wolf, Apr 7, 2010.

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  1. I saw one of those ridiculous adverts on telly the other day where some tube claimed compensation 'cos he was delivering a parcel to a house and the gate blew in the wind and hit him and injured him so much he somehow got 1000's' I had to laugh, where do people come up with these stupid storys and how do they get money for it :?

    I know thats just an advert but has anyone got any real life comp claim storys? Im seriously bored at work and in need of a laugh and/or a reason to get miffed off at clowns getting money for nothing
  2. Yer ,I got a shed load of compo when my mate Colin drove an MK 4 ton Bedford over me in a blizzard at Mount Pleasent in July 1986
  3. I once persuaded some idiot to poke me quite hard in the arm with an MOD biro. I was subsequently off work for several months with severe depression in addition to the crippling small bruise which put me in a wheelchair.

    The MOD are currently reviewing plans for specially-blunted biros at a bargain price of £42.17 each.
  4. When I injured my hand (broke a couple of pinkies) working in NI, I thought nothing of it and didn't even lose any time off work (apart from having them strapped up). But thanks to my colleagues who educated me about the NI compensation culture and after getting myself a good lawyer (from deepest darkest Lurgan), I settled out of court for almost four grand.

    When in Rome etc........................

    And cheers easy.
  5. I was sitting in my car at a T junction in my car (Volvo 244, unluckily for the bloke who hit me) and was rammed from behind by a bloke driving a ropey old Datsun bluebird. Since I was leaning forward to look for traffic at the time, the force shoved my car into the T junction and gave me a bit of whiplash. His car virtually disintegrated on impact with mine. I had some pain for a couple of weeks and a stiff neck and had to have X rays and doctors poking and prodding me, lawyers patronising me ad so on. After a couple of months I forgot all about it. Three years later I received three and a half thousand quid in me 'and. Nice one!
  6. Am I the only one noticing the irony on this thread with some throbbing advert at the top and bottom of the page from the national accident helpline scum asking you to 'calculate' your componsation.

    I pilled in parachuting once, broke both my legs and had canceled my pax insurance weeks before, also very ironic.
  7. My personal favourite is the bloke who was 'given the wrong kind of ladder'. Muppet.

    The 'something for nothing as an entitlement' culture is going to be the death of this nation. Unfortunately, it goes right to the very top and I can't see anything changing that.
  8. When I saw the thread title I thought I might be find out out to claim for bouts of insanity brought on by hearing Gordon Brown's lies.
  9. Many years ago, a couple of intellectuals from the East End of Glasgow hatched a plot to make a fortune from the Criminal Injuries Compensation Board.

    Intellectual no. 1 rented a pistol from one of the many Glaswegian hostelries where such things may be obtained. His plan was to have intellectual no. 2 administer a 'flesh wound' to his leg with the pistol, claim to have been caught some crossfire and get enough compo to keep him in Buckfast for several years.

    The plan was sound and our two protagonists cannot really be blamed for what happened next.

    As they had no knowledge of firearms, they could not be expected to understand the significance of the phrase 'Desert Eagle' engraved on the side of the pistol. Nor could they be expected to understand the meaning of the words 'fifty calibre' used by their underworld armourer when discussing the ammunition used by the pistol. Not being firearms aficionados, they could not have known that the primary legitimate use of .50 Desert Eagles is killing Alaskan polar bears with a single shot.

    The two loons repaired to a nearby alley for the 'flesh wound' to be administered. The artillery-like blast from the pistol very nearly amputated the victim's leg at mid-thigh level. This left only a bit of trimming and tidying up to do for the surgeon who completed the amputation of the leg.

    To make matters worse, the bloke who fired the pistol was so distressed at blowing his mate's leg off that he had a nervous breakdown in the hospital. During the breakdown he confessed everything to the police. Hence the pair of them spent several years banged up, as soon as laughing boy had his artificial leg fitted.