Men's rules --- Another very old 'un

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by billielittle, Jul 7, 2012.

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  1. Subject: Mens rules to live by - OR DIE!


    At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down!!! Finally, the
    guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.)
    We always hear 'the rules' from the female side. Now here are the rules
    from the male side.
    These are our rules! Please note, these are all numbered '1 ' ON
    PURPOSE!


    1. Men are NOT mind readers.

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put
    it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining
    about you leaving it down.

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints
    do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just
    say it!

    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
    question.

    1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
    That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
    fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the
    ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

    1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
    done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
    yourself.

    1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
    commercials.

    1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
    We have no idea what mauve is.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' we will act like
    nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
    hassle.

    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
    answer you don't want to hear.

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
    fine.... Really.

    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
    discuss topics such as sport.

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

    1. Thank you for reading this.


    Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight. But did you know men
    really don't mind that? It's like camping.
    Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh. Pass this
    to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh.
     
  2. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    Thank god for that. I thought it was going to be over a week before I saw that again.
     
    • Like Like x 2