Mens delicate Bits

#1
I was speaking to my soldier boyfriend this morning,I was thinking how to approach the subject of checking his personal bits.

With me being so shy I found this website and sent it to him I was so happy that he thanked me for bringing the subject up and asked if i would help him :D

http://gmtv.medicdirect.co.uk/self_Exam/default.asp?step=4&pid=870
 
#5
doctrine said:
I was speaking to my soldier boyfriend this morning and was thinking how to approach the subject of checking his personal bits.
With me being so shy I found this website and sent it to him I was so happy that he thanked me for bring the subject up and asked if i would help him :D

http://www.soyouwanna.com/site/syws/testexam/testexamFULL.html

I
pentwyn, you dont have a boyfriend.

If you do have one, you could get him to check your private parts. Apparently, they are in a jar in Cardiff Hospital med Lab.

Go away you internet pest.
 
#7
Interceptor said:
How can you tell that it's her. Apart from the poor use of the apostrophe...
That, and the unique style of writing. It's as good as a fingerprint. No-one else makes the same elementary mistakes so consistently.


Edited for typo
 
#8
What is it, with balls today! :)

*Are you lot having a secret jib at me because i'm single!
 
#9
I don't get it, where's the humour in the article.

Why has medicine become so liberalised as to allow "So, while in the tub, continue to take notice of the weight, shape and coloration of each testicle and report any noticeable changes to your doc."

Don't do that. Don't book an appointment to go to your GP and tell him your burnt sienna testicles are now cornflower yellow, because you know he won't give a f*ck and sure as hell won't know any more than you about testing for testicular cancer. He might put his finger in your arssehole if he likes the look of you, since the Hippocratic oath includes a necessity to check the prostate whenever entirely unnecessary, if only to cover the cheap glove issues in UHTs and pathogens so f*cking active that it's necessary to send more loads to the furnace to waste tax payer cash.

When I was doing medicine, I fingered many an asshole in the name of patient care, and I was surprised to find quite how many straight looking blokes blatantly took it in the arrse. Smooth muscle fatigue is so obvious. The point of this paragraph is to make this thread have a point of interest - if you take dick and want noone to know, don't let your doc finger you.
 
#10
I don't understand why people seem to think that men need to be told that they need to check their testicles, and then patronisingly how.

Surely it's instinct for every bloke to do more-or less what they describe everytime you're in the bath, shower, bed, on the sofa, bored at work... I could go on!


[hr]
And on a slightly related note... from the above link:
celebrity testicular cancer survivors like Tom Green, Scott Hamilton and Richard Belzer.
WHO?
 
#11
Walt_Disney said:
Surely it's instinct for every bloke to do more-or less what they describe everytime you're in the bath, shower, bed, on the sofa, bored at work... I could go on!
on the train, on the bus, in the car, in the cinema, in court, incognito...
 
#12
Walt_Disney said:
I don't understand why people seem to think that men need to be told that they need to check their testicles, and then patronisingly how.

Surely it's instinct for every bloke to do more-or less what they describe everytime you're in the bath, shower, bed, on the sofa, bored at work... I could go on!
Just because blokes like a feel while watching TV, in the shower etc does not necessarily mean that are likely to feel correctly and detect a small lump!

It's not patronising, it's information. Take it or leave it, but don't whinge about it, it might save someone's life!
 
#13
It's barely worthy information; most sufferers never turn up until they get abdominal aching and feel like their balls weigh 20kg each, despite noticing lumps. It's also such a rare cancer that the amount of press it gets is disproportionate to the amount of cases. Kind of like the THEM of medicine.
 
#14
TopChick said:
Just because blokes like a feel while watching TV, in the shower etc does not necessarily mean that are likely to feel correctly and detect a small lump!
Ever played with those chinese stress balls? You'd notice a lump on one of them quite quickly. Not meaning to be pigheaded, but I do reckon it is as simple as that.

I think Burton is spot on, guys notice but don't deal with it.

At the other end of the spectrum, an ex-girlfreind made me go to the Doc with what turned out to be a cyst- I felt like a complete hypochondriac!

[That's quite enough of my intimate and disgusting secrets.]
 
#15
Burton said:
It's barely worthy information; most sufferers never turn up until they get abdominal aching and feel like their balls weigh 20kg each, despite noticing lumps. It's also such a rare cancer that the amount of press it gets is disproportionate to the amount of cases. Kind of like the THEM of medicine.
Thank you for the proving the point of the campaign!! The point being to heighten awareness to prevent stubborn, embarassed blokes leaving til it's too late! :idea:

Stats:
Every year in the UK nearly 2,000 cases of testicular cancer are diagnosed in the UK.

Testicular cancer causes around 90 deaths in the UK each year.

(Source: cancer research UK http://info.cancerresearchuk.org/cancerstats/types/testis/?a=5441)

You're right, not as many as lung, etc etc, but try telling those 2000 a year that it is insignificant.
 
#16
Then I can't wait for the campaign teaching the proletariat how best to test for enlargement of the prostate gland. A DRE is easy too, with sufficient information. Can't wait for some big t*tted airhead to finger someone's bullet between The Simpsons and Malcolm in the Middle.

Testicular cancer is non-major; screening for most cancer, except perhaps breast cancer, is woefully inadequate whereas everyone seems to be a Fellow when it comes to ball cancer. Good intentions, waste of effort.

I personally hope the next public campaign brings attention to bacterial vaginosis, such a common condition that causes most men to suffer a bad smell up their nose. Now that's a problem. Hopefully those stubborn, embarrassed women won't leave it until it's too late and ruin many an appetite.
 
#17
How delightful.

Here's to hoping that you never get anything wrong with your bits.

Here's to also hoping that any woman you do go down on has bits more fishy than fish stall at europes biggest fish market.... :lol:
 

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