Men Who Stare At Goats

#1
In 1979 a secret unit was established by the most gifted minds within the US Army. Defying all known accepted military practice - and indeed, the laws of physics - they believed that a soldier could adopt the cloak of invisibility, pass cleanly through walls and, perhaps most chillingly, kill goats just by staring at them. Entrusted with defending America from all known adversaries, they were the First Earth Battalion. And they really weren't joking. What's more, they're back and fighting the War on Terror. Ronson's highly acclaimed bestseller, THEM: ADVENTURES WITH EXTREMISTS, examined the paranoia at the fringes of Bill Clinton's America. THE MEN WHO STARE AT GOATS reveals extraordinary - and very nutty - national secrets at the core of George W Bush's War on Terror. With first-hand access to the leading players in the story, Ronson traces the evolution of these bizarre activities over the past three decades, and sees how it is alive today within US Homeland Security and post-war Iraq. Why are they blasting Iraqi prisoners-of-war with the theme tune to Barney the Purple Dinosaur? Why have 100 de-bleated goats been secretly placed inside the Special Forces command centre?
Book and TV, Sunday C4 9pm. Excellent entertainment!

A US Army officer gets sent on a fact-finding mission in the 1970s among the Californian hippie community to look at "new age" warfare - what a detachment that must have been! He comes up with the concept of the "First (Earth) Battalion" in which the idea is to enter combat zones carrying lambs, playing soothing indigenous music and to develop the concept of the "warrior-monk" with the ultimate ability to walk through walls and think people dead!

Apparently there is a "goat lab" at Bragg where soldiers attempt to stare goats to death. And Rummy has recalled a "hamster killer" to stare Guantanamo detainees into spilling secrets!
 
#2
MrPVrd's artical said:


...kill goats just by staring at them. Entrusted with defending America from all known adversaries, they were the First Earth Battalion.
Are ya sure that wasn't just Corporal and ctauch 'staring at sheep?'

8)
 
#3
Could you please add some coke to the meths before you drink it next time? Now toddle off to the bottom of the garden and count some fairies, there's a good chap 8O
 
#4
One bloke was so convinced of his ninja-like invincibility that he lay down as a jeep drove over his stomach. This normally worked if the driver slowed down to a crawl, but on the last occasion the driver was unaware of this and drove over at speed, killing the stuntman! The US military claimed later that he was killed in a helicopter accident in Nicaragua!

The hamster killer conveniently lost his hamster-killing video and later produced a video of two hamsters but had decided not to show the moment of death to a "left-wing" journalist!

..admittedly here is probably a kernel of truth in the roots of these "researches" based on the physical endurance exploits of East Asian martial artists. But this is taking the p!ss!
 
#5
WEATHERMAN1956 said:
MrPVrd's artical said:


...kill goats just by staring at them. Entrusted with defending America from all known adversaries, they were the First Earth Battalion.
Are ya sure that wasn't just Corporal and ctauch 'staring at sheep?'

8)
staring/worrying is that the same thing?

Just had TV on in background.
Oh my, oh my, that's what happens to the kids when 'mommy' is popping happy pills all during her pregnancy!
Welcome to America!
Land of the TRULY nutty!

:wink:
 
#6
Are ya sure that wasn't just Corporal and ctauch 'staring at sheep?'

staring/worrying is that the same thing?
You can't stare at them from behind, if you want to look them in the eyes they should be on top - that way you get tongues as well!
:twisted: :twisted:
 
#10
Dear God MrPVRd, are you a septic gent as well?
I thought that the Brits went for sheep/goats and the Spams went for pigs?!?

I want to rejoin and remuster into the British equivalent of the First Earth Battalion! I'm growing my hair long, there's some Hawkwind on the stereo and the hydroponic cellar is doing its job nicely!!!

[/quote]
 
#11
The manual of the 1st earth battalion actually exsists check goggle
:roll: .loonies but less harmful than the neocons :)
 
#13
Jeeze...some are sooo 'anti-septic'...like an alcohol bath.

Ya know WE could muster all our 'septic-tanks' for a BlitzKrieg...


(sounds like a 'crappy campaign'...infact the hole idea stinks)

Fageddaboutit




:mrgreen:
 
#14
Watched the program and damn near p1ssed myself laughing. Even better when one guy was battering the journo using a little bit of shaped perspex!
 
#15
Staring at goats?

Half the blokes in the Sarah Siddons have fablonned pictures of sheep in their wallets....
 
#17
In that program the one piece of kit that looked half useful was that Predator platic thingy issued to the 82nd airborne, 'gouge out an insurgents eyebals and stab him in the neck to implant an image into his buddys mind'! If taught how to use it properly would be a nasty little hand to hand weapon, but then again as the saying goes, if you're that close, you're too close.
 
#18
Laughed my t*ts off at this goat blimpers and hamster assasins,till watching the news later with the film of the septic`s CO giving his pep talk about warriors battling thugs,cutthroats and satan.These fuskers are off their heads ,they think they`re on a bloody crusade in Apocalypse Now.
 
#19
I heard about this on the radio this morning.

Apparenlty they are playing the music from the the kids show 'Barney' to try and drive out some crazed insurgents in a small village near the syrian border.

After hearing 10 seconds of the tune i think i would be tempted to pop one thru my brain to numb the pain 8O

Still had me laughing hard when i hear that the spams played welcome to the jungle by Guns & Roses to Manuel Noriega. If i was him i would have called over all my pals and had a house party at the expense of the US psyops det.

Some of these spams are just crazy!

agent smith
 
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