Men V Women in the shower

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by Civvy-Ginge, Sep 13, 2010.

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  1. HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN

    take off clothes and place them sectioned in a laundry basket according to colour.
    walk to bathroom wearing dressing gown
    if you see husband along the way cover up any exposed areas
    look at your physique in the mirror, make mental note to do more leg lifts in the morning
    get in the shower
    use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah and pumice stone
    wash your hair once with sage and cucumber shampoo with 43 added vitamins
    condition your hair with grapefruit and mint-enhanced conditioner
    wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red
    wash the rest of your body with gingernut and jaffa cake body wash
    shave armpits and legs
    turn off shower
    sponge off all wet surfaces in the shower
    spray mould spots with tile cleaner
    dry with towel the size of a small country
    wrap hair in super absorbent towel
    return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head
    if you see husband along the way cover up any exposed areas
    spend 40 minutes drying hair with hand held jet engine
    HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN

    take clothes off while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile
    walk naked to the bathroom
    if you see wife along the way, shake your manhood and make a "woo-hoo" sound
    admire your physique in the mirror and the size of your manhood. Scratch backside
    get in shower
    wash your face
    wash your armpits
    blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off
    spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area
    wash your hair with stuff from the bottle nearest to hand
    make a shampoo mohawk
    pee like a racehorse
    rinse and get out of the shower
    fail to notice water on the floor because the curtain was hanging out of the bath
    admire size of manhood in mirror again
    leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on
    return to bedroom with towel around waist
    if you pass wife, pull off towel and make a "woo-hoo" sound
    throw wet towel on bed
     
  2. bloody awesome...and so true