Men in uniform. Why is it that...

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by regimental_psycho, Nov 18, 2003.

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  1. Lasses love you when you're in uniform, no matter how fked you look or how much you stink... yet, when you've been back and had a shower, put your best shirt on and you're out on the town you can't get a second glace.. the only difference is you've made more effort!
  2. Join the ugly, look it's life deal with it :D I have to!! :evil:

    as long as you dont wear a poncy light blue beret, just wear your uniform 24/7
    other than that make sure you use a downwards stroke when you slit your wrists harder for them to sew up :twisted:
  3. I don't get it either, what's wrong with a Paisley shirt and tie combo, burgundy corduroys, my cleanest white socks and a sturdy pair of Clarks start-rights? And I wonder how the ladies resist the hint of Brut (the essence of man, by the way!) and Lynx Java.

    They don't know what they are missing!
  4. as a woman, (checking down front of top to confirm, yes, tackle still there, must be of female gender), shall i answer?
  5. Well it isn't really the uniform; it's the whole danger of the uniform.....
    If you tell a woman you're a soldier, she gets turned on...
    If you tell her you've seen action, she gets hot...
    If you tell her you're going to see action, she gets concerned, (you maybe gone for a while)....
    If you come home from action, she gets excited...
    If she sees the evidence of the action, i.e. the dirty man smelly uniform, she gets horny...
    If she gets to unwrap you from the uniform, you get lucky...
    If she gets to wash you, the uniform, and all the bad stuff away, she gets content...
    So if you really want to know why we love men in smelly unclean week old uniforms it's very basic.
    You protect us, we see the evidence, and we’re enamoured and fall in love with the notion of strength and the strong.
    Very basic, very animalistic, and if any woman says differently it's because she hasn't quite got to the unwrapping stage just yet....
    'Oh my hero!!!!'
    Did I mention how shallow we really are????
  6. i see, although it still leaves the question why do they like firefighters... after all they see about as much action as the queen mum these days.
  7. So blessed, my kecks are minging as I've not changed them for a month, youd want to give me a knee trembler?

    Sorry, just to clarify, you have tackle down your front? They are baps aint they and not a dangly thing? Just so Mdn doesnt start pestering you with un wanted advances in case he thought you were a ladyboy.
  8. keggs minging as not changed for a month?????? is it a safety/security issue, you sit at home and don't wash? not at all as i explained really, only danger you're in of invasion is bodylice my dear!
    and as to a knee trembler, well again the live-stock would be an issue now wouldn't it?
    yes, tackle is of 'baps' variety....and no the rest doesn't now, nor has ever dangled! :)
    and what is Mdn????? explain please?
  9. MDN is me and its customary on Arrse that I bang in the back doors of all the new chicks to the site.

    If your ugly let m,e know in advance incase I have to quaff half a case of stella to make you pretty through my beer goggles.

    Its also customary to send me smutty pics, which I then promise are in confidence and show the rest of the chaps :D
  10. Oh almighty doughboy, if only you knew!!!!!
    Ask me nicely and I might just tell the whole story of my sad and sordid life......or first.
    Opps, and I think I may just need the Stella more than you, merciless watching English rugby on sat need comfort, sad and Scottish!
    Weep for me boys!!!!
  11. [how come....]

    Natural pheramones (spelling?)............yeah right. It's the imortal game of women messing with your brains. Just wap out the cheese beast and see how the mood changes.. :twisted:
  12. True. But I was at a night club a while back, then the fire alarm went off and everone was evacuated. The firebrigade turned up and most of them were middle aged balding blokes...but there were plenty of girls getting their mobiles out and taking photos, numbers..

    Im in the wrong job.
  13. You resurrected a 3 1/2 yr old thread. For that?
  14. I was bored, looked through old threads. But its a good one.