Men In Uniform Dont Half Fancy Themselves

#1
I read this article in the Sunday Times magazine and had a good chuckle. It must have been a slow newsday. Mr S_M won't tell me who his Saville Row tailor is and he now thinks that he ought to be getting a fancy watch for Xmas . 8O

Do you think I'm sexy?
Men in uniform — they don’t half fancy themselves, says Fleur Britten


Sunday Times Style Magazine



There’s nothing like a spot of military service to bring out the peacock in a man — and not just because a uniform turns everyone into a bit of a preener. Military bearing is a state of mind that goes way beyond the parade ground and mess. In fact, it’s on civvy street that officer types really start to strut. Take Colonel Tim Collins, who commanded a British battalion during the Iraq war. His combat gear was permanently accessorised with Ray-Bans and cigar.

Colonel Collins, who left the army last year to write his memoirs, recently appeared on Newsnight dressed in a blue linen pinstripe suit, gingham shirt and, crucially, no tie. “I always consider what I wear,” Collins confesses. “I didn’t want to be seen in a stuffy shirt, a regimental tie and a heavy woollen suit. I try to avoid that look politicians have, with a kilo of dandruff on their shoulders. I dress to please myself.”


Collins isn’t the only military man to pay close attention to his appearance. General Rupert Smith was recently photographed for The Sunday Times in a rather swanky leather bomber jacket and chinos, looking suspiciously as though he was trying to model himself on Tom Cruise. General Sir Michael “Mike” Jackson, Chief of the General Staff, meanwhile, has undergone an eye tuck, paving the way, as one commentator put it, “for every macho career man to go under the knife”.

We shouldn’t be remotely surprised, of course. The one thing all senior military men have in common — apart from bravery, discipline and devotion to Queen and country — is vanity. “You can’t leave a building in Sandhurst without looking in a mirror,” says Captain Henry Burton, a spokesman for the army academy where Prince Harry is a student. “There are full-length mirrors everywhere, which makes you ask, ‘Am I fit to walk outside?’ The armed forces are the last bastion of dressing appropriately.”

And dressing appropriately means showing the world that you’re a dominant male. “My husband is a bit of a peacock,” admits Lucy, who is married to an RAF flight lieutenant. “I was immediately attracted to him, because I knew he would always look nice on my arm. It was like when Sindy met Action Man. He’s even more of a shopper than me: he spends hours trying on every option. He knows what cut and colour suit him best — like pink, because it flatters his skin tone. He would never walk out of the house in anything dirty or unironed. And he’s careful about his shape — he exercises five times a week.”

Naturally, this kind of sartorial awareness in a man is not without its disadvantages. “He’s critical about everything,” says Lucy. “I can’t buy jeans without pockets on the bottom, because he says it’s unsightly. He’ll always notice VPL. He’s very harsh.” The upside is that her husband can iron a shirt in two minutes flat.

In fact, most servicemen would not trust their wives to iron their kit, says one Royal Marines officer — we’ll call him Barry Buddon. “When it comes to maintenance, clothes come first,” he says. “If you don’t look after your kit, it will let you down.” Buddon sees different breeds of peacock in different regiments. “Marines love to get naked in public — they like to show off their muscles. Cavalry officers are the dandies. They all have the right kit for any occasion, be it tweeds for shooting or made-to-measure morning suits for weddings. I met one cavalry officer with a red silk paisley lining sewn into his combat jacket, just so he would look more classy on exercise. It was hilarious.”

An army officer’s ultimate posing outfit is, of course, his dress uniform, made to measure while at Sandhurst and decorated with lots of shiny brass buttons and gold braid. Most officers try to keep their Sandhurst shape throughout their career, so they will always fit into it. And, tellingly, most choose to marry in it as well. Buddon will be getting married in his next year. “My boots will be ‘bulled’, I’ll have a sword, a peaked cap and my medals on my chest. It makes me feel proud and gives me a sense of my achievements.”

“The cliché of the officer with the puffed-out chest, shiny buttons and blazer has its place,” admits Burton. “Some will ‘bull’ their Russell & Bromley loafers until they can see their own reflection.”

So, would Col Collins admit to vanity? “I’m sure I’m hugely vain, but I don’t dye my grey hair and my face is covered in scars. If I were that vain, I would have had them fixed.” And make sure you don’t, Col Collins. Those battle wounds are your badges of honour — they only enhance the effect.

DON'T THEY SCRUB UP WELL

Every military man desires an impeccable wardrobe. So how do the peacocks of the battlefield kit themselves out on civvy street?

THE SHOES First: good care equals longevity. Strictly, it’s Church’s black brogues for dinner, Grenson brown loafers for tweeds, chukka boots for the country, Chelsea boots for town, and trainers for sport only.

THE SHIRT Ironed to within an inch of its life. Stefan Shirts, near the British base in Cyprus does a huge trade, otherwise it’s TM Lewin.

TAILORING All regiments have their own Savile Row tailor.

THE CASUAL LOOK Collared shirt and chinos is the most Sandhurst cadets get away with. Radicals take to Carhartts to set themselves apart.

THE WATCH As high-performance as the man who wears it, so a Breitling Aerospace, an Omega Seamaster, a Tag Heuer Aquaracer or anything with a computer.

SUNGLASSES Very important, and must be robust — Oakley, Bloc and Ray-Ban all work.
 
#2
that was mainly based on officers, what about the common soldier. scum of the earth? surely a few diamonds amongst the ranks, some of those things might apply... saville row can ram it though.

easy (scum of the earth block rat, and proud)
 
#3
Apart from the fact that PoD has an "eye tuck" so that he could continue to see.. FFS... a Very Amusing Article.
 
#4
So, the unmarked, blue, grubby overalls that I wear for 95% of the time make me a preening peacock? :D
 
#5
And as an aside, does the Torygraph have an unlimited supply of horsey, brain dead female reporters who come over all vaporous and moist if they go with in 500 metres of Sandhurst?
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
#6
It's true, I have to admit to being a fashion victim.
 
#7
It's funny how these things are right under your nose and you don't see them. The POD as a trend setter. How could I have missed that?
 
#9
Ah, Style never goes out of Fashion! Not sure about "loafers with tweeds", sounds like a bounder's option to me.

TM
 
#10
And dressing appropriately means showing the world that you’re a dominant male. “My husband is a bit of a peacock,” admits Lucy, who is married to an RAF flight lieutenant. “I was immediately attracted to him, because I knew he would always look nice on my arm. It was like when Sindy met Action Man. He’s even more of a shopper than me: he spends hours trying on every option. He knows what cut and colour suit him best — like pink, because it flatters his skin tone. He would never walk out of the house in anything dirty or unironed. And he’s careful about his shape — he exercises five times a week.”
Naturally, this kind of sartorial awareness in a man is not without its disadvantages. “He’s critical about everything,” says Lucy. “I can’t buy jeans without pockets on the bottom, because he says it’s unsightly. He’ll always notice VPL. He’s very harsh.” The upside is that her husband can iron a shirt in two minutes flat.
Pink! Pink! VPL! jesus wept man! another gorgeus gussy! what ever happened to Bn sweatshirt,jeans and dessy boots?
 
#11
Hat20 said:
“My husband is a bit of a peacock,” admits Lucy, who is married to an RAF flight lieutenant. “I was immediately attracted to him, because I knew he would always look nice on my arm. It was like when Sindy met Action Man. He’s even more of a shopper than me: he spends hours trying on every option. He knows what cut and colour suit him best — like pink, because it flatters his skin tone. He would never walk out of the house in anything dirty or unironed. And he’s careful about his shape — he exercises five times a week.”
Naturally, this kind of sartorial awareness in a man is not without its disadvantages. “He’s critical about everything,” says Lucy. “I can’t buy jeans without pockets on the bottom, because he says it’s unsightly. He’ll always notice VPL. He’s very harsh.” The upside is that her husband can iron a shirt in two minutes flat.
My the long winter nights must just fly in their house. Is this a widespread RAF habit do you think? :wink:
 
B

Biscuits_AB

Guest
#13
Cutaway said:
It's true, I have to admit to being a fashion victim.
Paisley lined balaclava helmet, pearl handled hitchen knives and large bin bags only from Fortnum and Mason's.
 
B

Biscuits_AB

Guest
#14
Scotch_Mist said:
Hat20 said:
“My husband is a bit of a peacock,” admits Lucy, who is married to an RAF flight lieutenant. “I was immediately attracted to him, because I knew he would always look nice on my arm. It was like when Sindy met Action Man. He’s even more of a shopper than me: he spends hours trying on every option. He knows what cut and colour suit him best — like pink, because it flatters his skin tone. He would never walk out of the house in anything dirty or unironed. And he’s careful about his shape — he exercises five times a week.”
Naturally, this kind of sartorial awareness in a man is not without its disadvantages. “He’s critical about everything,” says Lucy. “I can’t buy jeans without pockets on the bottom, because he says it’s unsightly. He’ll always notice VPL. He’s very harsh.” The upside is that her husband can iron a shirt in two minutes flat.
My the long winter nights must just fly in their house. Is this a widespread RAF habit do you think? :wink:
What about his Farrahs and white socks? For a bloke who probably likes to be seen in public as often as he can in his 'boiler suit', he ain't half a dandy at home.
 
#15
Hat20 said:
And dressing appropriately means showing the world that you’re a dominant male. “My husband is a bit of a c*ck,” admits Lucy, who is married to an RAF flight lieutenant. “I was immediately attracted to him, because I knew he would always look nice on my arm. It was like when Sindy met Action Man. He’s even more of a shopper than me: he spends hours trying on every option. He knows what cut and colour suit him best — like pink, because it flatters his skin tone. He would never walk out of the house in anything dirty or unironed. And he’s careful about his shape — he exercises five times a week.”
Naturally, this kind of sartorial awareness in a man is not without its disadvantages. “He’s critical about everything,” says Lucy. “I can’t buy jeans without pockets on the bottom, because he says it’s unsightly. He’ll always notice VPL. He’s very harsh.” The upside is that her husband can iron a shirt in two minutes flat.
Pink! Pink! VPL! jesus wept man! another gorgeus gussy! what ever happened to Bn sweatshirt,jeans and dessy boots?
All you need is a pastel coloured leisure suit for each day of the week, with a tweed cloth cap for Saturdays. If its good enough for Alan Ball, its good enough for me... :D
 
#16
loada bollocks really all of it , it just the Tailoring industry trying to get you to part with cash for an overpriced "Suits you Sir" getup just cos THEY say it is so.

just cos it Saville Row making the suits/swimwear/under kecks, makes it ok for you to look a big Pink Ćunt !

i prefer any old clothes that takes my fancy be it Top shop or Matalan or down Cheshire Oaks retail centre, cheaper there.
im the last person to be a fashion victim.

Arrse !
 
#18
MR errmmmm "buddon" failed to mention how good some female clothes look....it bridges the gap between getting naked and totally inpinging on public decency
 
#19
Bloody hell!

A slating from the fella that stands in a dobey bin and lobs in a thunderflash to get dressed :D

When out shopping in Holland recently Aunty stopped to ask an educated Dutchman what was the Dutch for 'crimpolene'
 

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