Memorable turns of phrase in personal reports?

#1
It is alleged of Evelyn Waugh (and some others: it may be apocryphal) that a senior officer commented in his personal report : "I can see no reason why soldiers would wish to follow this officer - except, perhaps, out of idle curiosity".

Anyone got good report comments to pass on?
 
#3
"He departed in the same manner as he arrived - fired with enthusiasm"

The above was allegedly the written reference given by a headmaster to one of his staff.
 
#4
Ancient_Mariner said:
"He departed in the same manner as he arrived - fired with enthusiasm"

The above was allegedly the written reference given by a headmaster to one of his staff.
We might expand the thread to include the reportee's reply.

Samuel Beckett, who taught briefly at Campbell College, Belfast (Co. Down's nearest thing to an English public school) in the 1930s, resigned because he was unhappy for various reasons. "What? Leave Campbell?" asked the headmaster. "Mr Beckett, don't you realise that here we teach the cream of Ulster?" "Yes, headmaster. Rich and thick," replied SB.
 
#5
Samuel Beckett - the only nobel laureate to play in a first class cricket match...(TCD versus Northants apparently)...
 
#6
Cuddles said:
Samuel Beckett - the only nobel laureate to play in a first class cricket match...(TCD versus Northants apparently)...
Indeed. TCD didn't make as much of Beckett's centenary as they could have. It's perhaps no surprise that Campbell didn't . . . .
 
#7
I always liked this one. This man sets himself very low standards and frequently fails to achieve them.
 
#11
Since this Officer's last report, he has hit rock bottom and started digging...
 
#12
Given the multiple roles this officer had to reconcile, he was never going to please everybody. However, he went one step further by pleasing nobody.
 
#13
He did his job to his own satisfaction
 

FORMER_FYRDMAN

LE
Book Reviewer
#16
This officer works well under close supervision or when caught like a rat in a trap.

My army is formidable to everyone but the enemy (British General in Ireland)

If you gentlemen truly wish to serve your country, you should desert to the enemy (Union General, American Civil War)
 
#18
A sometimes not completely unwelcome visitor to our planet
 

Guns

ADC
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#19
"This officer is happy to remain on the fringes of Naval activity."

Never sure what they meant by that.
 
#20
My last flimsy stated "If this officer had applied himselt to his job as well as he applied himself to finding employment on his release he would have been excellent", and I must admit I left the RN on Friday and started my new job on the Monday

Peter
 
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