Meghan's Limericks, and other poetry.

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LE
Kit Reviewer
She's already a self-acclaimed poet so what vould be more fitting than her own poetry driven thread ?
After all, "what Meghan wants, Meghan gets."

Let's not limit it to limericks, any form of poetry is great.

To start it off here's one from Cold_Collation:


I used to spend time on a yacht
Because there was something I liked quite a lot
There’s nothing a girl craves
More than the crashing of waves
And being generous with all that she’s got.
 

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LE
Kit Reviewer
From @Robsa68

There was a young lady called megs,
Who constantly opened her legs.
She'd sail out on a yacht,
In places quite hot,
And sit on the passengers pegs .
 

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LE
Kit Reviewer
By @Robsa68

There was a young fellow called Harry,
Who decided he wanted to marry
He went out and put,
His cock in a slut,
But her minge went and did a miscarry.

Allegedly
 

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LE
Kit Reviewer
When I ‘accidentally’ first met Harry
I knew that I should not tarry
I had to entrap soon
The ginger buffoon
That’s ‘m’ for money, not marry

I’ve written some doggerel that’s Woke
To patronise the ordinary folk
It’s do as I say, and not as I do
For the great unwashed masses, not the privileged few
And I wonder why I’m seen as a joke
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
Not a limerick but I have ghost-written an autobiographical ode to include in Volume 2 of Meg's attempts to be the next poet laureate.

I wandered lonely as a cloud,
I saw my prince stand out from the crowd.
My soldier pilot; action was required,
I locked on and very soon my target acquired.
But how to get this man by my side?
So in with a smile and legs open wide.
Soon I had him, unthinking and loyal,
My future assured with life as a Royal.
But life as a Royal is not what it should be,
It's all about others and not about me.
So off to the States before they can tame us,
And in Hollywoodland I'm sure to be famous.


Ok, allegedly.
There once was an actress a has been,
Who really only wanted to be seen,
So she grabbed a prince
As thick as mince
And in Hollywood tries to be queen.

Allegedly
 
There was a ginger twat called Harry.
He was desperate to marry
Along came a Yank
He should have had a ****.
As he's pissed off the entire Royal Family
 
The swevens came up round Harold the Earl,
Like motes in the sunnes beam;
And over him stood the Weird Lady,
In her charmed castle over the sea,
Sang 'Lie thou still and dream.'

'Thy steed is dead in his stall, Earl Harold,
Since thou hast been with me;
The rust has eaten thy harness bright,
And the rats have eaten thy greyhound light,
That was so fair and free.'

Mary Mother she stooped from heaven;
She wakened Earl Harold out of his sweven,
To don his harness on;
And over the land and over the sea
He wended abroad to his own countrie,
A weary way to gon.

Oh but his beard was white with eld,
Oh but his hair was gray;
He stumbled on by stock and stone,
And as he journeyed he made his moan
Along that weary way.

Earl Harold came to his castle wall;
The gate was burnt with fire;
Roof and rafter were fallen down,
The folk were strangers all in the town,
And strangers all in the shire.

Earl Harold came to a house of nuns,
And he heard the dead-bell toll;
He saw the sexton stand by a grave;
'Now Christ have mercy, who did us save,
Upon yon fair nun's soul.'

The nuns they came from the convent gate
By one, by two, by three;
They sang for the soul of a lady bright
Who died for the love of a traitor knight:
It was his own lady.
 

DSJ

LE
89654676-49FD-4478-A947-1970C3C19051.png
 
Ol' Ginge he did a wooing go,
Finished up with a bit of a 'ho',
Sad to say, he screwed his life,
Taking a slapper for a wife..
 

Cold_Collation

LE
Book Reviewer
The problem for Meghan Markle
Was couplets that just didn’t sparkle
A few words would rhyme
For some of the time
But oh then it all just goes all clunky and wrong and I hate you all especially you Harry you useless ginger prick bring me another PR team who can actually do this shit and an artist who can actually fücking draw or life is going to get even more shít for you and oh look Bill Gates is single
 

DSJ

LE
A rather dim Prince got the hots
For an actress who'd fucked men on yachts*
Her media stunts
made him look like a c*nt
Whilst squeezing out "not royal" tots.


*ALLEGEDLY
 
There was a young lady called Markle
Whose intelligence didn't quite sparkle
Her naked aggression
Caused her husband's succession
And the wrath of all people squirearchal
 

DSJ

LE
A symbol of narcissism
Swallowed a LOT of royal jism
Her revenge for this chore
Was to make Haz a woke bore
And fostered republicanism
 
The swevens came up round Harold the Earl,
Like motes in the sunnes beam;
And over him stood the Weird Lady,
In her charmed castle over the sea,
Sang 'Lie thou still and dream.'

'Thy steed is dead in his stall, Earl Harold,
Since thou hast been with me;
The rust has eaten thy harness bright,
And the rats have eaten thy greyhound light,
That was so fair and free.'

Mary Mother she stooped from heaven;
She wakened Earl Harold out of his sweven,
To don his harness on;
And over the land and over the sea
He wended abroad to his own countrie,
A weary way to gon.

Oh but his beard was white with eld,
Oh but his hair was gray;
He stumbled on by stock and stone,
And as he journeyed he made his moan
Along that weary way.

Earl Harold came to his castle wall;
The gate was burnt with fire;
Roof and rafter were fallen down,
The folk were strangers all in the town,
And strangers all in the shire.

Earl Harold came to a house of nuns,
And he heard the dead-bell toll;
He saw the sexton stand by a grave;
'Now Christ have mercy, who did us save,
Upon yon fair nun's soul.'

The nuns they came from the convent gate
By one, by two, by three;
They sang for the soul of a lady bright
Who died for the love of a traitor knight:
It was his own lady.
Weird Lady, maybe. But she knows the cards to play.
 

Cold_Collation

LE
Book Reviewer
So the 'lady' took a photo
Because you all ought to know
That her talent and zeal
Extends from verse to reel
It includes everything - in toto
 
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