I was doing a med cover at one of our many DZ's and a geezer landed and shouted MEDIC. When a colleague of mine ran over to him, he realised he was the OC of the Med Sqn (Doctor). Noticing he had an obvious broken leg, he produced the Morphine Autojet and whacked it in his leg. 5 or so minutes passed when the young medic asked 'is it any better?' To which the reply was: ' No but my map case can't feel a thig!!'
i once trasferred a patient from the GMC at detmold to BMH rintlen, to get a female body spray can removed from his ass.
he had spent the weekend with a lady of the night, and things got a bit saucy in the bedroom. He claimed in the GMC that he only felt a slight twinge around his anus (AS ******* IF) and it was alright afterwards.
On his admission to hospital he had to be given a GA to get this thing out. It turned out to be an IMPULSE body spray can. SOME ******* TWINGE )
How about the CMT (sorry MA in those days) who whilst in Cyprus gave Algipan to some one for sun burn because it says on the box that it gives 'Heat relief'.
Apparently its true but then again apparently so's the one about 5 different lots of harry Monk in the Chicken Korma.
I was a medic on a RAF station with a USMC det. Called to the USMC block one night to find the victim of one of their endless internal feuds - with a full Coke bottle (top on) stuck up his arrse. It required a GA and surgical removal.
In Germany some years ago I remember an RTA attended by a civvy (dependant) nurse in an ambulance from the local MRS. She examined the driver, decided he was dead and left the scene. The German notarzt arrived straight after, found the driver's pulse, extricated him and he survived.