Hats off to the original poster for his intentions and tenacity.
It seems that it was in 2003 that MOD Casualties (Non-War Graves) were seeking to contact the NOK in order to place a headstone on the grave,
MRS PD GALYER
The Army Non War Graves Cell is trying to trace Mrs PD Galyer,
widow of the former Cpl Graham Keith Galyer. Graham died,
aged 35, in July 1981 whilst on the Y List with 11 Sig Regt. They
lived in a married quarter in Wheredale Rd, Catterick Garrison.
Grahams grave is marked with a simple wooden cross in the
cemetery of his hometown of Scartho, Grimsby, and the Army
Non War Graves Cell hope to provide a more appropriate
headstone. It would be more appropriate if his widow could be
traced and informed about this action. If anyone can help trace
Mrs Galyer, please contact ...... at PS4(Army) Casualty
Cell at Upavon on...[no longer at Upavon-moved to Gloucester]
My understanding is that in the event of a death in service, the lease on the grave, a headstone and maintenance in perpetuity is provided by MOD, unless NOK opt out of a military sponsored funeral-it happens, I knew two guys who died in the same incident and one is a military grave and the other a private one.
Normally, when it is a privately funded funeral, the MOD responsibility ends then and there- so it's slightly out of the norm that MOD would bring up the question of a headstone a decade after the burial. I would think that someone must have raised the matter with them,
I should have though that if MOD were trying to contact Mrs Galyer she would be in receipt of either a death in service widow's pension or preserved pension rights, and her NI number would be easy to get from the relevant dept and thus easy to trace if she were still around in 2003. Seemingly not.
It would be a nice outcome if Mrs Galyor or a relative could end up with the medals
and Cpl Galyer be provided with a MOD provided headstone (assuming that one has not since been provided.