Med Advice required,,,urgently

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by tuffy52, Jul 15, 2011.

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  1. Could anybody on ARRSE please give me some urgent advice,,The problem concerns a 'friend' of mine who has a serious medical problem,this 'little' problem also extends into the marital happiness of my 'friend'.
    This terrible problem which is playing havoc with his well being has plagued my 'friend' for a number of years now,unfortunately my 'friend' and his wife have now reached the end of their tether and so my friends I turn to yourselves for the answer.My 'friend has visited his GP on several occasions in order to resolve his ongoing problem,however only on one occasion did he receive any form of support in the form of these little blue diamond shaped pills.Thinking that these little blue pills would solve his 'little' problem he immediately swallowed the lot (4) in one go.For a prolonged period lasting some 2 1/2 days his problem seemed to have gone away,,,,however another 'little' problem arose inasmuch as my 'friends' wife started to complain with regards to sore and aching parts of her anatomy so my 'friend' had to desist from this so called cure for his 'little' problem.Therefore can anybody please help my 'friend' in finding an alternative answer to his 'little problem.

    Vial Stats......

    Age.....Old
    Smokes...A lot
    Drinks...12 units per day
    Weight...Fat
    Fitness....Mmmmmm.
     
  2. 1. Constant frenzied masturbation
    2. Sheep
    3. Small children
    4. Corpses
    4. ask Zero_Over if you can borrow 'Maddie'
     
  3. Without reading the post my first suggestion is cutting your cock off.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  4. Does he realise depression is a side effect of those little blue sweets? That sounds like the cause.

    I can just picture an old bloke severely depressed with a major hard on.


    Give him another Haribo.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  5. Or you could just tell your 'friend' to cut his cock off instead :thumright:
     
  6. Who's been on the Bupivacaine?
     
  7. Thank you Doctor I shall pass your advice on to my 'friend',,If you will just give me your addy and 'he' will call on you to thank you personally...........
     
  8. Try buying a convertible car, some Werthers Originals, and go cruising at approx 1530hrs everyday.
     
  9. Is that another name for sherry dearie.............
     
  10. I'll be busy doing his wife I'm afraid, as he is incapable of doing so.
     
  11. Uncle Smudge?
     
    • Like Like x 1

  12. Cutting my massive member off will not help my 'friends' little problem..............
     
  13. It always hurts a little the first time. Real men take it without the anaesthetic.
     
  14. Cutting your penis off is a bit drastic, tbh. You'll find that the entire organ stump withdraws into the scrotum and it's a bugger to find when you need a slash in a hurry. Bad news when you're halfway through a Harvester 'combo to share' and a testicle suddenly swells up.
     
  15. Vial Stats......
    Vial Stats......


    Age.....Old
    Smokes...A lot
    Drinks...12 units per day
    Weight...Fat
    Fitness....Mmmmmm.

    Doctor Brown would like to reassure you that your 'little problems' are not worth worrying about. The likely prognosis (based on the above info) is that you will shortly die of natural causes.

    I hope this answer was helpful to you.