Me and the boyz got in a fight

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Chimpy., Apr 26, 2007.

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  1. I should really try and stop getting into this kind of sh1t cos im gonna be a father soon. But anyway, me and the lads (me, Benno, Stevey G and Fat Boy) got in a fight last night. We were out drinking and at the end of the night went for some food at Kebab Rush ... the local kebab shop. I dont have kebabs so I had 3 pieces of chicken and chips with mayo. Now, this is what happened:

    The boxes for the chicken and chips are all the same size. Therefore, if you order 1 piece of chicken and chips you get it in the exact same box as if you order 2, 3 or 4 pieces of chicken and chips. Chips cost £1 and each piece of chicken costs a pound aswell. Therefore 1 piece of chicken and chips costs £2 (obviously). Now, here's the scam. If you have 3 pieces of chicken and chips (as I did) it costs £4. As some of you might have guessed the more chicken you have the less chips you get because the boxes are the same size ... you can't fit as many chips in because there is more chiken in the box. As such you are still paying a pound for chips but getting considerably less than a full portion.

    When I realised this I was half way down the road. We were all drunk and fired up and it suddenly dawned on me that I'd been ripped off. So we legged it back to Kebab Rush and I started screaming at the Turk behind the counter that he owed me some chips and that I wanted my chips in a seperate box this time. I was really aggressive and threatened to smash the place up. The lads stood behind me looking menacing. He started yelling back to get out of his take away and then I just lost it. I threw the contents of the box in his face and swung a punch at his head. I missed because he was too far behind the counter.

    The lads tried to swing at him aswell, but he was well back now so we tried to get over the counter to do him in. Just then two turks come running out the back with bats and attack us as we are half way across the counter. We think "fcuk this" and decide to leg it. As we try and escape me and Benno take a few shots on the back with the bats. But only glancing blows. We manage to get out of the take away and leg it up the street where we re-org.

    Me and Benno have a few bruises but we are still fired up and ready for action. We scoot about on a nearby building site and me and Benno find a couple of iron pipes. Stevey G and Fat Boy pick up two house bricks (one in each hand). Me and Benno then get one house brick in the hand that we aren't carrying the pipes in.

    We run back to Kebab Rush and Stevey throws his brick at the wall/window at the front. It makes a massive shattering crack all over the window but doesn't break. Fat Boy then throws his housebrick and it goes straight through ... sending glass everywhere. We then all run up to the take away and throw the rest of our bricks in the general direction of the counter. The counter smashes and the rest of the bricks land in the back somewhere. Cans fall all over the floor so we grab a couple. I got a Dr Pepper.

    Me and Benno charge forward and scream "COME ON YOU C*NTS" etc etc waving our pipes about. But they sh1t themselves and stay in the back with the door closed. We smash the counter up a bit more with the pipes then leg it home.

    Honestly, I can't believe how f'ucking out of order they were over the chips. I never wanted any trouble but they forced it on us. The Take Away took a lot of damage but they never got a beating with the pipes.

    Maybe this will teach them to put the chips in a seperate box next time.
  2. Your a c0ck - sorry no other words for it. Your the kind of w4anker that gives squaddies a bad name...
  3. What the hell are you on?!
  4. :D :D :D :D

    Thank you :D
  5. Can someone ban this knobb3r
  6. :boogie: (pmsl)
  7. I'm not a squaddie yet. I'm going in the paras soon though.
  8. o2 thief him and close the thread
  9. Brilliant! :D

    You are still on top form! :clap:
  10. can I be drafted in for your milling?
  11. Great fly.

    Oh and tell Fat Boy to lay off the chips anyway, that will help him stay out of sh1t.

    Keep 'em coming.....
  12. [​IMG]

  13. PMSL...............Again, the chimpster scores.

    Any clues on this wind up merchant yet?

    Still funny though.

    All you fella's getting tight trousers about the dude.

    He' s fookin funny and on the wind up!!! ..................Jeez!
  14. Yeah,

    You da man....!!!