Me and Mandy.

If it was me and Mandy........i'd..

  • Stand over him, and ask, as a voter and bloody citizen.....blah blah

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Buy him a wet and a croissant and thank him for his indomitable spirit and service to this great nat

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Screw my tired old face up in fury behind my 2 day old newspaper, letting out a bit of wee wee, then

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    0
#1
I very rarely think of most of you once I unplug, bar a need for a vital organ or some marrow i'd deny the vast majority of you a glance, mainly due to threads like this,

http://www.arrse.co.uk/Forums/viewtopic/t=148973.html

The words...f*cking...wierdo and no mark c*nts came to mind.

I jumped on the Euston to Manchester Piccadilly train yesterday at Stockport about 18:00, there, sat in with the common people was Peter Mandleson, he wasnt alone, a couple of aides were dotted around including 2 young people in gleaming red ties and laptops open, he looked great to be frank, an elegant type with a certain air about him, he was also sat in with the riff raff which I found quite impressive.

Pete got up at one point to get some papers off an aide and afforded me a slight smile of acknowledgement of my recognition of him as he sat back down. The 8 minute journey passed and he gracefully waited until the rest of the carriage had emptied, then strode purposefully across the concourse will little fuss, no awaiting entourage and evidently, comfortable in his own skin.

I had a little giggle really, I had fleeting images of the usual suspects on here squirming in their seats not 10 yards from the 'Dark Lord' and doing absolutely f*ck all about it apart from THINK about what they would like to do, I was safely assured as I smashed apart my first pint later, that apart from a few unstable types on here, not one of you would have uttered a word to him, not one of you would have 'put him straight about our boys!' and certainly none of you would have thrown anything more at him than a mucky look :D

The one chance someone from this site had a bone fide opportunity to sit next to him and sound off for 8 minutes and it was me ! The irony ! (I once got stuck in a lift with Tony Blair and Bob Mugabe in the Nakatomi Plaza, New York once for about 12 hours but we didnt talk much either..)

I wont vote, but I like him, he doesnt give a rats arrse and it shows...
 
#2
Ooooh no JR, you've opened a can of worms here.... I can hear "Outraged of Arrse" seething as I type...
 
#3
sfub said:
Ooooh no JR, you've opened a can of worms here.... I can hear "Outraged of Arrse" seething as I type...
I am hoping Invino f*cking Veritas sponteanously implodes over last nights re-heated chicken dinner as he reads it....Mandy also had a very nice cologne on, and was suprisingly well groomed after being crammed into standard class for the 3 hour trip.
 
#5
Of course he doesn't give a rats arse, his price for saving Gordon was a seat in the Lords, he is on the gravy train for life.
 
#7
Couldn't agree more, JR.

If it had been me on the train. I'd have just got on with eating my Ginsters and reading my paper. Occasionally I may have trumped a little pasty fart, as I couldn't care less about politicians of any party.
 
#8
johnboyzzz said:
Juan_Ramirez_III said:
Pete got up at one point to get some papers off an aide and afforded me a slight smile of acknowledgement of my recognition of him as he sat back down. ...
He wanted to dry bum you :x
Not really a problem for me, I would happily lay out over a chaise lounge draped in a silk sheet for the New of the Worlds, selling my sex story for a quarter mill....I can see it now, 'he tousled my sun bleached hair and smiled sweetly, he never returned my calls but he left something inside me...something ill never get out..'
 
#9
It's easy to give it large on the web, I wonder how many calling for Ross Kemps bald head on a platter would (or could still) actually go out on the ground in Helmand tommorow?

I've got images of pasty red-eyed fat blokes hugging the dirt as rounds crack and whizz over their swedes thinking how much easier it sounded on t'web.
 
#10
I was sitting next to him a few weeks ago. Gave me an opportunity to study his thickening waistline and greying temples :D
 
#11
mark1234 said:
It's easy to give it large on the web, I wonder how many calling for Ross Kemps bald head on a platter would (or could still) actually go out on the ground in Helmand tommorow?

I've got images of pasty red-eyed fat blokes hugging the dirt as rounds crack and whizz over their swedes thinking how much easier it sounded on t'web.
Or thinking 'f*ck me! it wasnt like this on the road up to Gornji Vakuf during the Balkan war of 1998' :D
 
#12
There is a certain elemment on here of the "OI! Mandelson! NO" type from Harry Enfield's shows who are remarkably brave from the cheap seats behind the keyboard. They should be along in a minute....
 
#14
Juan_Ramirez_III said:
johnboyzzz said:
Juan_Ramirez_III said:
Pete got up at one point to get some papers off an aide and afforded me a slight smile of acknowledgement of my recognition of him as he sat back down. ...
He wanted to dry bum you :x
Not really a problem for me, I would happily lay out over a chaise lounge draped in a silk sheet for the New of the Worlds, selling my sex story for a quarter mill....I can see it now, 'he tousled my sun bleached hair and smiled sweetly, he never returned my calls but he left something inside me...something ill never get out..'
I never thought of that one quarter of a mil for a couple minutes of pain
 
#15
The best 8 minutes of Inter-city cottaging you'll ever have I'm sure. :wink:

Did your tight pink scoop T-shirt, limp white belt and Croc's catch his trained cock-hungry eye?
Or were you staring at him like a man possesed with a brutal anal rape stare and made his 'entourage' fidgety because of it?
 
#16
I'd have rolled my newspaper up into a tube, put one end in his jacket pocket and pissed down the other end, but then I'm one of the unstable types you sneer at.

Have a nice day JR.
 
#17
mark1234 said:
It's easy to give it large on the web, I wonder how many calling for Ross Kemps bald head on a platter would (or could still) actually go out on the ground in Helmand tommorow?
Not many I imagine as in the main, their 'service' consisted of a hard weekend or two in Thetford and a 'challenging' fortnight in Gibraltar. Strange when you think of it as it should be us serving squaddies with the axe to grind considering we're the ones that's been sent out on almost continuous ops for the last 13 years. I say bring it on - the money's great.
 
#18
No_Duff said:
I'd have rolled my newspaper up into a tube, put one end in his jacket pocket and pissed down the other end, but then I'm one of the unstable types you sneer at.

Have a nice day JR.
But you wouldnt though would you? You would resort to desperately trying to keep a lid on your fast beating ticker by counting church spiers and grinding your teeth in mental response to your own impotency!

I hate Keith Chegwin, really hate him, more than you hate Labour, but I'd swan past him without a second glance whilst imagining what it would be like to force feed him a half pound bag of red hot wing nuts
 
#19
Juan_Ramirez_III said:
No_Duff said:
I'd have rolled my newspaper up into a tube, put one end in his jacket pocket and pissed down the other end, but then I'm one of the unstable types you sneer at.

Have a nice day JR.
But you wouldnt though would you? You would resort to desperately trying to keep a lid on your fast beating ticker by counting church spiers and grinding your teeth in mental response to your own impotency!

I hate Keith Chegwin, really hate him, more than you hate Labour, but I'd swan past him without a second glance whilst imagining what it would be like to force feed him a half pound bag of red hot wing nuts
What's Cheggers ever done to you? 8O
 
#20
llech said:
Juan_Ramirez_III said:
No_Duff said:
I'd have rolled my newspaper up into a tube, put one end in his jacket pocket and pissed down the other end, but then I'm one of the unstable types you sneer at.

Have a nice day JR.
But you wouldnt though would you? You would resort to desperately trying to keep a lid on your fast beating ticker by counting church spiers and grinding your teeth in mental response to your own impotency!

I hate Keith Chegwin, really hate him, more than you hate Labour, but I'd swan past him without a second glance whilst imagining what it would be like to force feed him a half pound bag of red hot wing nuts
What's Cheggers ever done to you? 8O
You obvioulsy haven't been listening to Radio Fucking 1 the last hour
 

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