MDN is broken

Discussion in 'Now That's What I Call NAAFI Bar' started by Cait, Apr 10, 2006.

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  1. I feel duty bound to tell you all this because I’ve been sniggering since it happened.

    This weekend I went for a bimble in the lake district, I planned a route which topped three summits, Grey Knotts, Green Gable & ultimately Great Gable. Nothing too strenuous, Great Gable looms out at around 2800ft but enough to get the lungs working.

    Anyway MDN was at a loose end & decided to dust off his lederhosen & large pack to join me. I was greeted at the start point by a semi naked Dough_nut doing bollocky lunges to stretch out his legs. I gave the usual “roll of the eyes your not impressing anyone here look” chucked my day sack on & started off. I’d got to the end of the carpark when I heard…..

    “Wait up, wait up Cait, shouldn’t we have a look at the route, take some bearings, plan an ERV in case we get separated”……

    I looked at the well trodden path that stretched out in front of us :? then looked back round but before I could speak he had unfolded a fabloned map and was waving a compass around that looked uncannily like a ships sextant whilst mumbling "grid to mag...add... mag to gr err err".

    There wasn’t much of a walk in, the route took us directly up Grey Knotts, on the summit the weather closed in & it started to snow but to the south you could just make out the summits of Green Gable and Great Gable disappearing into the clouds. We stopped for a quick brew and I asked MDN if he want to check the map again, he was to busy breathing out his arrse to talk out of it, so I got the obligatory two fingered salute! :D

    We set off again, I’d got so far up the side of Green Gable & turned round to see where MDN was, I looked down and all I could make out was his yellow gortex laid in the snow. I watched for 2 mins not sure if he had taken time to admire the view…. again. I started to move back down & I could see he was holding his knee, the goon had only gone and slipped, putting his knee out on the rocks. Sympathetic as always I asked if he was just jacking on me cause it was getting a bit cold but to be fair his knee did look a bit purple & had ballooned slightly, although I was taken back by the tears & demand for a casivac.

    To cut a long story short, we got nowhere near the summit cause MDN slipped, bumped his knee and left me to carry his Bergen back whilst he hobbled behind. I couldn’t help giggling as we passed several other walkers, easily in their 60s ascending the gable…. The big puff. :lol: :lol:
  2. Fcuk me I was expecting a stitch but not one on that scale :D

    You were gushing!!! unless your flask leaked on your trollies

    I promise on my little one I never mentioned the words ERV, mag to grid or casevac etc :oops: Thats worse than being accused of having a large pack

    The only plus side of a ballooned knee was cait rubbing brufengel into my purple swelling...... I would have offered the other purple swelling but I was writhing too much to be able to muster a woody.

    The part I can't deny is that cait did indeed carry my bergan for a good 50 metres........well half a K but I reckon I'll live that down by the time I hit 40 :oops: :oops: :oops:

    Some piccies to follow, am just wondering if the stitch I've just recieved is worthy of a return stitch including the pictures of cait making some yellow snow :D

  3. Are you two having an affair or what? Can't you just spill the beans as I'm on tender hooks here wondering!
  4. I have suggested the idea to both cait and her husband last time we went for lunch....

    He seemed quite dismissive of the idea and wasn't too keen on the offer of me taking care of her for a month or two..... The offer is always open :D

    But it would be wrong of me not to take the opportunity to mention the picture of her lagging again :D :D :D

    Revenge is always sweet :D
  5. I would have left him and called Mountain Rescue telling them they'd need to task a Chinook in to lift the fat blobby cnut off :lol:
  6. They wouldn't have need NVG if you'd have been there Moon head :D
  7. RTFQ


    Bloody hell, you two must have looked like the cast of a 70's mountain rescue training video. MDN trying to align his mickey mouse watch with the sun in order to work out which way is north, carrying his emergency Yorkie Bars in a tescos bag and looking the part in ron hills, Cbt High Legs and an "I Ran the World 1985" T shirt. Cait tottering out of her Renault Espace complaining of a headache "cos it's cold innit?" and trying to wipe the sheep sh1t off her Jimmy Choos with a wet wipe. The old biddies following you up probably had a sweepstake on how far you'd get before the fat one started chimfing.
  8. Neeerrr No! My casio calculator x100 has a compass built in.... and if that let me down, my rambo knife not only had a rabbit snare but a compass on top too..... I knew which way North was, but was fcuked from there

    I must add, afterwards in an outdoor shop in Keswick cait asked an attendant where the Compie were...... then looked at me and said 'That is the plural of compass?' :D

    They'd have lost, she never chimfed once, it was me that bitched like a tw@t from the second dawn came and the size of them hills hit me :D :D :D
  9. RTFQ


    I don't know why you're so chipper - you went for a walk up a knoll, you tripped over your laces and jacked, then a civvy doris had to carry your kit for you cos you stubbed your knee or something. It's not exactly a hetero way to spend a weekend is it?
  10. Tell the truth, you promptly corrected me and said "No, it's compasies?"

    We were walking up the first fell and i kept hearing "Clink, clink, clink"...... i looked at MDN & said WTF that??

    "Dunno" and off he went....

    again i heard it "clink, clink, clink"

    As he passed me i realised it was two off caribiners swinging from the back of his day sack....

    Sniggering i asked "what are they for?"

    He went red then said "I got them free with the bergan, so i hung them off there...."

    :lol: :lol: They had stamped into them "NOT FOR CLIMBING"
  11. Yeah fair point.........but I got to see her p1ss, so well worth the £1700 Edmond Hillary pursuit boots and Emergency Mono-brow Magellen
  12. What you should have done is jammed a large curve hex down his pissslit, attached the other end to the Karabiners (by now on your daysack), and towed him

  13. Dear God no, tell the truth..... thats worse than the original stitch. They were free with the Bergan but they weren't clinking and they didn't have 'Not for climbing' written on them

    I'm posting the piccy of you p1ssing!!!!!
  14. RTFQ


    This is quite possibly the gayest walking trip I've ever heard of. Did you hire a luminous yellow jeep to go up there, or did MDN take you in his Suzuki Cappucino? Did you lay the map on the bonnet and choose your route by the sounds of the names - "Oooh, get this, Great Gable, sounds nice - like that movie star" "Scarfell Pike? Oooh, Don't like the sound of that!"

    When you're going up the footpath, did MDN keep shouting "I need to be roped up!" and "If this weather gets any worse, do you think we'll be rescued by a helicopter? I could tell the girls that i got picked up by a big chopper!!"

    It's like Berghaus went and sponsored an episode of will and grace.
  15. Did MDN pack a flask of sweet milky tea and some custard creams ?