McGuinness was working for MI6?

Discussion in 'Current Affairs, News and Analysis' started by hansvonhealing, May 29, 2006.

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  1. I wonder if he can take what he normally gives out?
  2. Oh how we would laugh! There is the other way to look at it though, if the PIRA, RIRA or their other acronyms decided that they had been duped by a british agent in such a high position, they might just kick off just for effect.
  3. Heh Heh.... Well now,

    There's a novel by a certain gentleman famous for taking long, solo walks through sandy places......
  4. Was anyone in PIRA not a British agent??? Where there not similar rumours about Adams? Have we just been fighting our own security forces for the past 30 odd years? The biggest plot in history - Mi6 actually control half the governments around the world that we think are independent...wonder what Castro's codename is? We'll find out next that George Washington was really a British agent and we have been secretly controlling the US government ever since....wheres the tinfoil? :)
  5. I've read a few books where they strongly hinted that Adams gave up one of the Libyan shipments though they argue it was for tactical reasons. If the IRA had all that weaponry it would be harder to go down his armalite/ballot box route.
  6. I would love hard evidence to come to light revealing he did work for MI6, published for the world to see, then listen to the pleads and squeels of Mr McGuniess as he screams for protection from the UK or Irish goverment. I think we could find him a nice out of the way farmhouse to live in 6 miles or so from the nearest village :)

  7. If I had any such "hard" evidence right now, I'd have the shredder working overtime.

    It's not going to please anybody if it's proven, and the whistleblower could flip a coin as to whether it would be the black suits or the black wooly faces that paid the first visit.
  8. Correct me if Im wrong but SIS is responsible for the United Kingdom's espionage activities overseas. Is Northern Ireland now classed as an overseas country??
  9. no, but there was some overlap between the remit of 5 and 6 in the early 70s.
  10. seem to recall reading somewhere that it all got handed over from 6 to 5 in 1976?
  11. [align=center]McGuinness is good for you?[/align]

    It took me three days to track down Mr McGuinness. I found him at Crinkle Cut Cottage, Ballymarearend, County Donegal and at first, he refused to speak to me. The cottage was desolate apart from the seventy-odd journalists, half a dozen Garda and two bird watchers who mysteriously kept talking to their jacket lapels.

    Ballymarearend is miles from the nearest village and would have been the ideal hideaway had Mr McGuinness not had his post forwarded. It was thanks to Readers Digest that he was tracked down, as he had won a prize in the Spot the Potato Blight Competition. Mr Gripper O’Reilly had brought the cheque with him and after several attempts to deliver the cheque personally; it was shoved through the letterbox along with a free video. Mr O’Reilly did clarify the rules of the competition and apparently being a member of MI6, the IRA or Sinn Fein did not exclude Mr McGuinness from entering. “He’s going to get what he deserves” was Mr O’Reilly’s parting words.

    In light of the Denis Donaldson case, the Garda have set up roadblocks in the area and only journalists and bird watchers are allowed in. This was relaxed somewhat as a delivery van had been turned back and Mr McGuinness had complained that he had no potatoes to make chips. A Garda launch was positioned just off the coast, just in case he tried emigrating. “The US has enough problems, with him going there,” said a Garda spokesperson.

    By special agreement, I was allowed in to talk to Mr McGuinness. He told me that this time he does not blame the British for the lack of potatoes. He vehemently denied the accusations he worked for MI6 and showed me his RUC Special Branch annual dinner dance invitation and explained it was Gerry Adams that had been handled by MI6. Gerry Kelly had been handled by MI5 and Mitchell McLaughlin had been handled by a priest but he couldn’t say more because of the impending court case.

    We talked at great length about his life, his loves, his Daniel O’Donnell CD collection and his aspirations for a 31 county Ireland, as he hated Cavan. We chatted, I showed him how to make Irish Coffee and we drank them while listening to Daniel O’Donnell’s cover of Bohemian Rhapsody. The cottage was quite ‘bijou’, which is an old Irish word for ‘shite’ but at least there was running water. He told me the gutters and the roof would be fixed soon and then the running water might finally stop but it suited him to get away from the glare of the media circus that is politics.

    My time was almost up and I visited the bathroom before the long drive back to Belfast. As I shut the door, an explosion rocked the house and I found myself sat on the picture toilet seat and gazing at where the bathroom door had been seconds previously. The picture toilet seat was actually of Gerry Adams and Martin McGuinness but it was now cracked right down the middle. I struggled through the wreckage of the cottage and saw Mr McGuinness still holding the remote for the video recorder. He wasn’t making any sense so I knew he wasn’t badly injured and grabbing his arm, I led him through more rubble and to the gap in the stonework that had previously been the door.

    Outside was chaos. The two bird watchers had spotted a lesser-spotted arrse wobbler and were texting twitchers all over the world or so they later said. The journalists had borne the brunt of the explosion and three Nikons, six Canons and a Boots Disposable had been fatally wounded plus several laptops and expensive mobiles. The Garda were running around like headless chickens and since the chicken shed had been next to the cottage, several chickens ran around like headless Garda.

    I dragged Mr McGuinness to a rubble free area outside and sat him down. He repeated the words “Fenian fcukers” over and over again. It was at this moment that a pizza delivery scooter drew up. The helmeted figure mumbled something and reached into his delivery box. He pulled out a small machine pistol and emptied the contents of the magazine into Mr McGuinness who bled profusely from various holes, twitched and then died. The helmeted figure placed the machine pistol back in the delivery box and roared off down the track at a great rate of knots. I just managed to read the sticker on the back of the delivery box. ‘CIRA Pizzas Dundalk’ A long way to come and I bet the pizza was cold by now. It wouldn’t be long before Mr McGuinness was cold as well.

    Lardbucket McNasty, celebrated SCUM journalist.
    Winner of the Wurlitzer Prize 2005.
  12. "Ingram " has and always will be a sad deluded walter mitty looking for conspiracies around every corner.

    He has a one track mind, formed on a limited exposure to the FRU> Even a mere pawn, such as myself, who had spent a bit longer in the game would have worked out that there was more to life than agent handling. How can he be so sure that J118 was not a phone tap, a bug or one of the men in cars stood next to him in a pub off Parnell Square?

    In fact is was done by Vulcan mind-meld, but I promissed never to tell "Ingram"

    Ingram is a sad deluded individual living in the past. He really needs to move on in life

    What he needs most is a referal to Purdysburn, not getting collateral for his theories from yourselves and "so-called" journalists

    Catch yourselves on!

    PS: Correct me if I'm wrong, but I always thought MI 6 were allowed to operate anywhere, anywhere they could get someone else to buy them a decent lunch. ( we couldn't get by without cost of living allowance you know :cry: )

    PPS: I've just noticed that I had posted beneath a literary epic from mistersoft. ... he's so cool.......Well done yourself sir!!

    I am not worthy, ...............I'll get my coat


  13. PMSL :) Thank you for brightening my Monday morning :)

  14. The famous last meeting of the Colorado branch of the Communist Party comes to mind - when they realised that they all worked for the FBI....