Mature Dating adverts on ARRSe...

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by uncle_vanya, Sep 24, 2012.

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  1. Why is it I get all very weepy when I see those piccies of nice ladies on the Mature Dating adverts..... I get this overwhelming feeling that I want to hug them, cuddle them, do nice things with their help, bed them and make them happy, and Moi aussi! They look Sooo aluring!!

    Am I (a) Desperate?
    (b) Sad?
    (c) Desperate and Sad?
    (c) Not getting enough?
    (d) Must stop stropping else eyesight might be affected and sanity be in doubt?

    (e) I'm just Human, I keep getting a 'bone' on.... and I must up my Meds when this happens?
    (f) Try out Nurse Olga for a change, if no success, then Matron.
    (g) See the Regimental Med officer for more Bromide to put in my morning coffee before I start squaring up for a days lookee-lookee at ARRSE Wesbite??
    (f) None of the above. It's Monday morning, and I should be hard at work and not wasting time on ARRSE Forum.

    Attached Files:

  2. Because, like most of us you've been ripping the head off it over mature porn sites. Targeted advertising, my child.
  3. You're right. And to be fair, some of those howlers are worth a poke if i'm honest. Not that i can afford to be choosy though.
  4. They'll probably have fannies like an overgrown grand canyon though after years of pushing sprogs out, be like throwing a hotdog down a corridor!

  5. Still need to try and find out, don't knock it. Some of us are of an age where anything is a bloody bonus.
  6. Affixing a plank to one's arse should solve that particular problem.
  7. fu2

    fu2 LE

    Take your watch off first otherwise you will never find it.
  8. On the contrary (my friend tells me). It’s one bit that never ages. Lack of use tightens back to honeymoon freshness. And there’s always the grateful element. “There are three certainties in life: Death; Tax; women off mature dating sites” Benjamin Franklin

    And that, Master Luke, is what makes them so alluring.
  9. Because we all know that the middle aged lady has more than half a clue as to what is going on, has learnt a trick or two, probably has got past any self image hang ups, and having hit the magic 40 is quite likely to be gagging for it - be it home or away.

    Middle aged lady over a 20 year old muppet any day for me

    Any of the lumpy jumper members care to comment? I'll bet the target demographic wont disagree
  10. To be fair, some of them are quite tidy, going by the pics, however, i bet there are some seriously high maintainence attention seeking bunny boilers amongst them.
  11. Only 'some'?

    I did the internet dating thing for a while....fooking scary shit!
  12. Oh, I dunno
  13. There is many a good tune played on an old fiddle, especially the ones shaped like double basses. I bet if you went on any of those sites, you'd never find anyone who looks like the ones on the advert. A bit like an advert for a fast-food burger - the one you have in your hand looks nothing like the one on the poster.