Masturbation poem

Discussion in 'Blue Jokes' started by phil245, Dec 23, 2011.

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  1. phil245

    phil245 LE Book Reviewer


    You don't need to use a condom
    You don't need a dental dam
    You don't need to say "I Love You" or "Here's Fifty quid, Ma'am."
    Don't need to spring for dinner,
    Or wear all that sexy stuff
    All you need's a set of fingers and a wanker or a muff
    'Cause everybody's doing' it, all across the land
    Masturbators Of The World, Give Yourselves A Hand!

    It's natural, and organic
    It's easy and it's fun
    If you don't know how to do, it ask me how it's done!
    You don't need a special license
    You don't need a special skill
    Just slip your grip between your hips and get a special thrill!
    'Cause everybody's doing' it, and it really does feel gland,
    Masturbators of The World, Give Yourselves a Hand!
  2. Oh FFS, fucking die in a fire.
  3. Hey Phil. Really enjoyed your poem.
    Fancy a job?
    As a suicide bomber?
    Piecework rates.