Masturbation drills

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by King_of_the_Burpas, Jun 4, 2012.

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  1. I noticed this in today's Grauniad

    "My father-in-law is masturbating in my house
    He uses my laptop to view internet pornography and I want it to stop

    My wife's father, aged 68, moved in with us recently. He's nice, but seems to be addicted to internet porn. I know that he pleasures himself on our sofa using our laptops when we are out or upstairs – a lot. How do I stop him?"

    So how do you intervene to save the old chap from further shame? Do you pull his plug out? Or do you let him carry on and put a throw over the sofa?
  2. So you're happy to admit to reading the Guardian?
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  3. It's only a matter of time until the wife becomes pregnant by sitting on the couch naked

    Sent from my brick using poo stained fingers
  4. The father in law is a Guardian reader aswell then.
  5. I read all the papers, while thrapping in the toilet. God invented the Porcelain Crotch Moped Wank Chariot for a reason. This chap's mistake was to use the couch in the living room. Bad drills.
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  6. Have they thought about passwording their computers?

    Then he'd have to use his own.
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  7. The Guardian, as any fule kno, is the Paper of Choice for Wankers, so I see no problem there.

    The toilet has its own 'Moral Lesson Simulator' in it. Pull the light switch and it all goes dark - a reminder of the permanent darkness that will smite wankers everywhere.
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  8. Sounds like Father in Laws an ARRSEr to me. :)
    The Grauniad letter writer is obviously jealous as fcuk the old feller is getting more sex than him.
    Good on the old thrapper.
  9. is the porn any good for us youngsters? i might take a look if its ok
  10. Make the cunt wear oven gloves when he's in the house.
    • Like Like x 1
  11. Well it seems a shed would be a perfect solution.
    I hope that hasn't caused anyone to soil their slippers prematurely.
  12. Last night in the pub...

    Author; "The missus found my copy of Anal Farmyard 3 on the laptop and all the keys stuck down this morning. I've blamed her Dad and told her ill try and get some help for the old cunt"

    Authors Mate: Good Drills
  13. How does he know?
  14. It's only a matter of time before they find the father in law hanging from a wardrobe door wearing his daughter in laws panties. I only wish I went out like that...
  15. Because he was watching him from inside a cupboard, with a tea towel in his mouth to stifle his orgasmic groans.
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