Masturbating the half ton mammal

#1
Yes I know its another one, and I will stop if you tell me to, but at least it keeps me from molesting small children...
In a Newcastle-upon-Tyne crown court, Mr. Alan Cooper was accused of ``outraging public decency.'' As the Times of London reported it, the prosecution accused Mr. Cooper of ``committing a lewd, obscene, and disgusting act on the 12-foot dolphin called Freddie as they frolicked for 20 minutes off the harbor mouth at Amble, Northumberland.'' Freddie has become somewhat of a tourist attraction and according to the prosecution, ``a boatload of onlookers watched `disgusted' as Mr. Cooper, wearing a blue and yellow wet suit, masturbated the half-ton mammal as it floated on its back.'' Mr. Cooper, the Times helpfully adds, is unmarried.
cuddles said:
"Masturbated the half-ton mammal"...now that is a phrase you just don't get to use often enough! Mind you, it could describe some of my sexual exploits in the immediate post-divorce period when my catchment area was Farnborough/Aldershot...
So if you had to (or have) masturbated a half ton mammal, would it be (or was it) a fat bird or dolphin?

my choice would be a dolphin...they look like they're encased in latex :twisted:

I masturbate one every day...me :oops:
 
#2
There's a rather fat lad who posts on here known as the_bull. He is easily half a ton in weight but would have to masturbate himself as he is repulsive to women and men.
 
#3
Don't know about half ton, but certainly half a pound.

Am frequently hauled in by the rozzers. Apparently, pleasuring Water Voles is not something i should be doing and the passing river traffic don't want to see their tiny little members
 
#5
This is no way to talk about Jade, she's a big beautiful woman!
 
#6
Didn't this happen a few years ago ?
 
#7
wellyhead said:
Didn't this happen a few years ago ?
It did indeed, I seem to recall the Dolphin in question being called George; however George was attempting to hump anything that swam by, rather than having his dolphinhood pleasured by a gimp in a wetsuit.

Corn.
 

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