Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by Madjock72, Apr 25, 2013.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Seem`s like the contestants put a bit too much of themselves in the food and watchful viewers have complained about all the sweat,blood and tears in each dish.
  2. **** me, i hope no one decides to scrutinise the ACC to the same degree.
    • Like Like x 1
  3. Sweat, blood and tears i can deal with. It's the other bodily fluids that make me gag......
  4. It's one of nature's food groups...................

    Semen Recipes
  5. They were responsible for Lisa Faulkener coming back on the telly a lot more. She's ******* lush, saw her at some cooking live show at Tatton Park last year & she's tidier in the flesh. I'd be up that like a rat up a drainpipe.

    The colonial presenter is shagging her, she's got no standards so I might be in with a shout.
    • Like Like x 1
  6. How the ******* **** did you find that?

    Just asking like, in case the Missus wonders about how her scoff's been seasoned?
  7. hotel_california

    hotel_california LE Book Reviewer

    "Chef's note: Heat up a lightly oiled frying pan/skillet. remove from heat and ejaculate directly into pan, return to heat and fry the semen without stirring."

    Excellent, I have been doing it right all along.
    • Like Like x 2
  8. Jesus, that will smell like an SF sangar circa 1986, heaters going full whack & some ****** spanks off onto it at end of his STAG
  9. Her womb is barren and she has mental issues therefore I'd like to hump her until I ejaculated.

    Obviously I'd withdraw prior to releasing my seed so I could flavour a pot of stew.
    • Like Like x 1
  10. I'd advise avoiding the chefs special custard on a Sunday then.
  11. **** me, there's danger pay right there!
  12. Probably an urban myth but I heard that a member of the Army Catering Corps, duty chef in the Officer's Mess at 7 Signal Regiment, was caught taking one off the wrist into the breakfast milk.
    When he appeared on orders in response to the question, "Have you anything to say?"
    Replied, "Yes." "I would like 52 previous offences to be taken into consideration."
    • Like Like x 2
  13. Same as above but was a burger king or kfc where 2 young lads added more than the mayo on the bun than required and one young lady got hip b this of course was in dundee so its mostly likely 100% true. ;)

    Posted from the ARRSE Mobile app (iOS or Android)
  14. Hip B? Is that the cool version?
    • Like Like x 1