Masterchef - The Professionals

[Rab_C]

No offence

My one saving grace is that I didn’t copy the recipe from a Slop Jockey. No offence

 

[Moderator]

I hang my head in shame but there is a good sticky toffee pudding recipe on BBC Food, it was only after the second time that I had made it that found out it was from Greg Wallace.

No doubt provided to him by the BBC staff canteen to give the gurning shouty twot a little credibility given that he presents food programes.

 

[Ortholith]

I don't mind Gregg Wallace. A bit annoying but no worse than other presenters.

I'd rather watch Humpty Dumpty with the munchies than I would Chris Packham.

 

[slipperman]

I don't mind Gregg Wallace.

You’re dead to me!

 

[Moderator]

I don't mind Gregg Wallace. A bit annoying but no worse than other presenters.

I'd rather watch Humpty Dumpty with the munchies than I would Chris Packham.

 

[dingerr]

It still hurt though with a bill for £420 for dinner bed and breakfast.

I would say that was fair and happily pay it if the rooms were wheelchair accessible.

 

[ThelmatheBelmer]

I hang my head in shame but there is a good sticky toffee pudding recipe on BBC Food, it was only after the second time that I had made it that found out it was from Greg Wallace.

Not a big surprise, given how often he bangs on about how much he loves desserts.

 

[CplFoodspoiler]

My one saving grace is that I didn’t copy the recipe from a Slop Jockey. No offence

And none taken sir.
Mod, move this thread to NAAFI so I can vent my spleen.
Slop Jockey indeed! I'll have you know that I have never, ever served slop. Hang on, for the sake of honesty there was that one time in the field - Sennybridge, nope Thetford - where I was a total twat and dumped 10lt of banana custard into, what I thought was a gash container, stirred it in an wandered off thinking some other bugger can haul it to the gash pit for burning.
Turned out to be the, and I use the term loosely, All In Stew for endex. The CO did his usual walkabout thanking all for their efforts and commented to the cook Sgt that it had been a good show but the inclusion of banana was a bit to exotic for his taste.

 

[AsterixTG]

Because Mrs F and I are the 'go to' party, catering, BBQ and Xmas dinner providers for our extended family we were treated by the aforementioned to a 12 course tasting menu at Sat Bains gaff. I decided, as it was our wedding anniversary, to stay over for the night so I could indulge in the matched wines with each course.
It was a pleasurable experience, the food was excellent, the wine was well matched (the young sommelier was informative without being a total show off twat) the accommodation was very good and breakfast a delight. We were invited to go into the kitchen to see how it worked and had a chat with Sat. I explained that I had trained in the army and worked most of my career in industrial catering - gas platforms in the North sea and oil wells in Libya, Saudi, Nigeria, Gabon and was just a cook really. Sat replied "we are all cooks" and pointing to several of his staff continued "as good as they are, some of my lads couldn't feed 200 in a remote desert location."

It still hurt though with a bill for £420 for dinner bed and breakfast.

£420 for two?

 

[mush_dad]

Because Mrs F and I are the 'go to' party, catering, BBQ and Xmas dinner providers for our extended family we were treated by the aforementioned to a 12 course tasting menu at Sat Bains gaff. I decided, as it was our wedding anniversary, to stay over for the night so I could indulge in the matched wines with each course.
It was a pleasurable experience, the food was excellent, the wine was well matched (the young sommelier was informative without being a total show off twat) the accommodation was very good and breakfast a delight. We were invited to go into the kitchen to see how it worked and had a chat with Sat. I explained that I had trained in the army and worked most of my career in industrial catering - gas platforms in the North sea and oil wells in Libya, Saudi, Nigeria, Gabon and was just a cook really. Sat replied "we are all cooks" and pointing to several of his staff continued "as good as they are, some of my lads couldn't feed 200 in a remote desert location."

It still hurt though with a bill for £420 for dinner bed and breakfast.

The current mrs_mush treats me to a Michelin starred lunch on my birthday each year. A few year's ago we went to Sat Bains for the B&B offer. Accommodation was tidy, the food spectacular (although I can't actually recall much of what we ate) and the pairing of the wines was superb. At one point having emptied my glass halfway through a course I asked the sommelier how much was left in the bottle and how much would it be to have it. "About 1/3 of the bottle and it'll be an extra £115. Sir"

 

[CplFoodspoiler]

£420 for two?

£570, the family chipped in £150 and I managed to spend the £420

 

[AsterixTG]

£570, the family chipped in £150 and I managed to spend the £420

That's good value for that level of food including booze & a bed.

 

[Provost]

View attachment 527103

I don't know what he's like in real life, but he comes across as aggressive little shit.

There's a TV programme called 'How's It Done?' (or something like that) and he'll be going around a factory seeing how Caramacs or something are made from start to finish. There's usually some old dear in a protective hair net who'll be showing him the various processes and he'll be practically pinning her against the wall giving her the third degree as if he doesn't believe a word she's telling him.

Extraordinary interviewing style.

 

[Moderator]

I don't know what he's like in real life, but he comes across as aggressive little shit.

There's a TV programme called 'How's It Done?' (or something like that) and he'll be going around a factory seeing how Caramacs or something are made from start to finish. There's usually some old dear in a protective hair net who'll be showing him the various processes and he'll be practically pinning her against the wall giving her the third degree as if he doesn't believe a word she's telling him.

Extraordinary interviewing style.

I made ref to the programme above - Inside The Factory - which but for him would be very interesting.

The gurning, shouting and high volume strange noises he makes as he dumbs the whole thing down with what he imagines to be his great wit when his victims are cornered entirely destroys any interest in seeing how our food goes from raw ingredients to the finished consumer product.

One can only imagine that there is a Pound Shop pool of criminally talentless presenters from which he is drawn.

 

[kelvin_273]

TBH, I doubt any of these "fine dining" chefs could do the job we done. I started off on the "fine dining" side of things in London's West End before I joined up, learned bulk catering at St Omer and away I went.A little later in my career, I was spotted doing caskets and chaudfroid work for buffets by my MC and he asked where I learned, so I told him, next move Sgts Mess, 6 months later Offrs Mess, all due to the ability to bulk cook and then turn it on restaurant style for Mess work and Regtl Dinners. There can't be too many Ptes that have Brigadier's letter thanking them for an excellent dinner night or charity Sunday Curry Lunch (it was also nice that the Sgt who'd been in charge of this, but left me to it, pointed out me out when thanked in person by the Brig).
I'd call £420 a result for the kind of night/morning you had.

It's about time your efforts were rewarded Joker.
MBE maybe?

 

[Provost]

There can't be too many Ptes that have Brigadier's letter thanking them...

How many sausages did he get, then?

 

[exbluejob]

That's good value for that level of food including booze & a bed.

Sometimes its really worth a big blow out. You look forwards to something nice, anticipating what your going to get. Generally it exceeds your expectations. You have a great memory afterwards

 

[CplFoodspoiler]

How many sausages did he get, then?

No such problem in a Generals kitchen. Just for the great unwashed. Sad but true.

 

[AsterixTG]

Sometimes its really worth a big blow out. You look forwards to something nice, anticipating what your going to get. Generally it exceeds your expectations. You have a great memory afterwards

Agree - not had a bad top end experience for food for a while now. Ynyshir in September was stunning too.

The level below though can be very random and sometimes very disappointing, for not that much less.

 

[exbluejob]

Agree - not had a bad top end experience for food for a while now. Ynyshir in September was stunning too.

The level below though can be very random and sometimes very disappointing, for not that much less.

Only been out once for dinner since covid struck and that was nice hotel as opposed to a nice restaurant. Used to cycle through all the Michelin 1 stars in Southern Hampshire. Maybe next year.