Massacre in Cairo

Discussion in 'Current Affairs, News and Analysis' started by tuffy52, Aug 14, 2013.

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  1. I'm sure the TSG lads would resent such a slur. Warnings are for gayers.
  2. Well it had to happen.

    Whilst walking the back streets of Cairo I took a wrong turn and ended up in the company of some very dodgy characters. After a brief discourse in broken English I ended up being attacked with a cut throat razor and a rusty pair of scissors. My self defence skills kicked in and I was finally able to take command of the situation.

    i escaped but not before some serious damage was done.

    It's going to take about 3 weeks to make a full recovery.

    ...that's the last time I visit an Egyptian barber.
    • Funny Funny x 1
  3. Brotherton Lad

    Brotherton Lad LE Kit Reviewer

    Did he massage your shoulders, arms and hands? And do the burny thing with spirit and cotton wool in your ears?

    Good luck, though, and come home soon.

    Oh, and that clever thing involving cotton thread and three fingers (more likely, two fingers and a thumb)?
  4. None of the above.

    The bloody robbers. I was cheated too. The only upside was that the 'watcher' who's been following me around didn't know whether to hang around outside or sit down and be threatened with a haircut.
  5. Bigeye, excuse my ignorance of the big picture over there but what's stopping you heading for an airport and getting a ticket to anywhere that's well not a Muslim country is probably the easiest way to put (safe place)?
  6. My daily rate....

    and a desire to ensure that the truth is told!

    Bollacks, it's the money.
    • Like Like x 4
  7. Were you on your tod? Hope not, poor skills lol Hope they haven't spoiled your boyish good looks. :)

    Hope you recover alright and your tetanus if up to date.
  8. It seems that whilst we were pissing about 'liberating' kit from the bureau that was recently stormed, the authorities had charged the Bureau office manager with operating without a licence or some such. The police should have had a guard on the place when we wandered in and helped ourselves, with orders to arrest all comers. Luckily for me and my inept assistant the police guard had temporarily abandoned their posts allowing us to bugger off with the cameras.

    Not so lucky for the office manager who has been bailed (10000 Egyptian pounds) to appear before the beak to answer charges up to and including whatever they can think of.

    Ive had a selection of pretty angry emails from the bloke today. Still it could have been worse it could have been me in the dock.

    In other news:

    somebody tried to blow up the interior minister today. An IED went off outside his office killing a couple of people. His brand new armoured limo saved his bacon. Some suspect a false flag operation.
  9. I seem to be in danger of bringing my reports from Egypt to a rather lack lustre conclusion. Many here (of the very few that read these) will have been hoping that we'd all be banged up in a Cairo jail on the receiving end of nightly **** invasions. Indeed one Arrser has been looking forward to seeing me 'doing a Bigley'. however.. There is now little danger of us encountering any unpleasantness.

    I have another 5 days here but due to the very ambiguous legal status of our operation the new bureau chief (the previous bloke had a mental break down last week) has decided that it's too iffy to operate on the ground. We can voice reports from here relying on agency pictures but as we are all apparently on 'a list' we can't actually visit the trouble spots.

    The incidents recently have allegedly been Muslim Brotherhood attacks on Police Stations and personnel. Although there have been the inevitable suggestions that these strikes have been false flag operations mounted to cause uproar and to allow the tightening of restrictions on the MB. Personally I think this is unlikely as the Government can more or less do what it likes to the Pro Morsi Contingent without going to the trouble of maiming Ministerial protection teams.

    One of our stringers based in Sinai has just been given 15 days in a military prison for daring to suggest that local military operations had caused some nasty collateral damage. His comments were made on Facebook.

    Our suggestion that we head down to the Red Sea to do another Tourism negative impact story has been spiked as one of the crew let it slip they had their swimmers with them.

    So I'll be spending the remainder of the stay here at my Hotel, a former Royal Palace* quaffing drinks by the pool and dodging our watchers as we head to the bank side restaurants.

    *PERSEC/OPSEC is no longer an issue as some tit in our group checked in using the company discount scheme. I'm still pretending to be a tourist although it was very tempting to tell the truth to a very sexy French Journo last night. It's painful not being able to drag out the shag securing war stories.
    • Like Like x 2
  10. If you have watchers tailing you, whats the point in pretending you are a tourist? Surely they know what you have been up to before?
  11. It's like the plot of a Bond movie, I'd get it down sharpish and send it too Cubby Broccoli.
  12. Brotherton Lad

    Brotherton Lad LE Kit Reviewer

    Just a guess, but if the watchers know, that's still no reason to tell everyone else who may have an agenda.
  13. Sadly the only agent I'm likely to be mistaken for is an estate agent. There are a few Brits at the hotel but they probably really are with SIS as the Syrian Foriegn Minister was staying here.

    Talking of cloak and dagger cobblers we've been warned about the possibility of Honey Traps but the local security who was lecturing on the subject got shouted down by his incredulous audience - before he could tell us if it was worth the leg over.

    Latest key phrase (to be deployed when recovering staff that have been lifted, sweated and kicked about by the security police)
    'Never mind mate, it could have been worse - I could have been born ugly!'*

    *copyright D**** our ex-Them security bod.
  14. hanks BL, nail on head. We are very much out of favour with the Government who have a large popular (anti Muslim Brotherhood) support. Many of the biffings we've received have been at the unofficial hands of the civilian pro- military fanatics.
    • Like Like x 1
  15. There is if there is a shag afoot!