Mary had a little.........

#1
Mary had a little lamb,
She took it to the shops.
It strayed into the Butchers,
And he cut it up for chops.

Mary had a little bike,
She rode it back to front.
And every time the wheel went round,
A spoke went up her $%^&.

Mary had a little lamb,
It`s fleece was white as snow.
She took it down a coalmine,
Now look at the damn thing.

Mary had a little lamb,
She also had a bear.
I`ve often seen her little lamb,
But I`ve never seen her bare.

What do you call a sheep tied to a lamp post in Cardiff??

A leisure centre.

A farmer walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says.....

"This is the Pig I sleep with when you have a headache"

Farmers wife. " I think you will find that`s a sheep".

Farmer. "I was talking to the sheep".

Bought to you by ...............

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Thoroughly Refreshing.
Thwaites.
Wainwright.
Exquisitely Lovely Golden Ale (4.1% ABV)

HIC HIC.
 
#2
a single sheep tied to a lamp-post in Cardiff is a blind date, I dunno!
 
#4
...they lived under a pylon,
she gave it 50,000 volts
and turned its wool to nylon.
 
#9
Mary had a little lamb,
the doctors were astounded.
Everywhere that Mary went,
gynaecologists surrounded.
 
K

Kirkz

Guest
#10
Mary had a little frog
She kept it in a bucket
Every time the frog jumped out
the dog it tried to.... pick it up and put it back!
 
#11
Mary had a little lamb
it always was a gruntin'
Eventually Mary got pissed off
So she kicked its fucking cunt in.
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#12
Mary had a little skirt
It had a slit right up the side
Everytime that she sat down
You could see her thighs.

Mary had another skirt
With a slit right up the front.
She doesn't wear it very often.
 
#13
There was a young lady of nod
who wanted a baby from god
It wasn't the almighty who went up her nightly
it was the vicar the dirty old sod
 
#14
There was a young lady of nod
who wanted a baby from god
It wasn't the almighty who went up her nightly
it was the vicar the dirty old sod
Mary knew a piss-wet drunk

His posts were dull and chronic

He went by the name of Robbeaus

The crippled alcoholic.
 
#18
Mary had a little lamb
It's fleece was white and whispy.
Then it caught Foot and Mouth Disease
And now its black and crispy

 

TheresaMay

ADC
Moderator
DirtyBAT
#20
I asked my Welsh mate how many sexual partners he'd had, he started counting and fell asleep.
Being a Welshman I'm surprised I've never heard this one before. It did manage to attract some strange looks though, as I chuckled away to myself...
 

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