Martyrdom videos


Book Reviewer
Having just watched Channel Four News, where the liquid bomb nutters have been found guilty largely on the strength of ‘martyrdom’ videos, can anyone explain their urge to make them?

I mean, if you get nabbed by plod or the SIS and deny everything then you’re going to look a right cnut in court when your ‘death to the infidels’ diatribe gets played, no?

They then have the gall to plead Not Guilty.

Would you not just tape something along the lines of ‘Hope this doesn’t work, we’re only playing, honest guv society’s to blame’ or similar?

I mean honestly, it’s akin to hanging a banner from your bedroom window proclaiming ‘get your cocaine here’ or ‘Live badger-baiting at 5pm’

Esteemed members of Arrse; how would you ascend to your 70 virgins without dropping yourselves in the poo if it all went a bit Pete Tong?
I'd just stand up in court and claim it was all down to the fact that my school never had a role model of the same ethnic/cultural/gender category as me.

And I'd make damn sure my martyrdom video had better production values than the usual home video tripe. Maybe some CGI virgins in the foreground, that sort of thing. I'd get Peter Greenaway to direct it, as well.


Book Reviewer
Well seeing as Allah would know if you did 'his bidding', you wouldn't need to make a 'pop video'. Its all about the arrogance and vanity though aint it? These fools are all a bunch of brainwashed, misfit social outcasts anyway. I imagine if the were told to not worry about the 'verbal diarrhoea vid' most of them would bottle it. No fame in anonymity as it were.

I would claim 'I'm white', which is as cunning as it is true. Sadly, that will not last, as a few non stereotype jihadi's - John Walker Lindt in the states, and that mong over here who cocked up his bomb in Bristol - have tried to Martyr themselves. I'm just waiting for a trustafarian or otherwise misguided white fool - a hippy no doubt - converts and blows something up in the name of 'Western Oppression of Arabia and occupied Palestine'. Its inevitable. Just like a huge dirty bomb going off in London one day.

Latest Threads