Allright boys and girls, a chance like this doesn't pop up every day so I thought I'd open the discussion to the floor. Two friends of mine have asked me to marry them. Not in a weird Mormon polygamy way, but to actually be the officiant at their wedding. It's in California next June so I'm pretty sure all I have to do is sign up with one of those churches on the interweb to become ordained. After that, as far as I can tell, the sky is the limit. The groom has a tick in the good lad box and as for the bride, what does it matter? She'll literally be the last one to pitch up and she can either take what she's given or call the whole thing off. I will be given the best seat in the house from which to talent spot since I won't have have to play the guessing game that comes from staring at the backs of womens' heads. I'll also be better able to PID singlies. Right now, although my heart says "JEDI ROBES", I'm thinking of dressing as a RC sky pilot as I figure this confers at least two immediate advantages over any other form of dress.The first is that the place will hopefully be packed with single women with low self-esteem who might prefer to eschew the buffet table for the ego-boost that would come from "turning" a chap who has apparently taken a vow of celibacy. The second is that parents will jump through hoops to keep their fucking kids as far away from me as possible. The best man is already married, so there's no competition there, so what other handy hints and tips would the good people of Arrse give to an immature, sexually compulsive, deviant who drinks far too much and has been put in this enviable position by two close friends who really should know better?