Married Names

Discussion in 'The Other Half' started by far2young2die, Feb 1, 2005.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Yes

  2. No - she is her own person.

  1. Just received very tearful phone call from a bride to be (I am going to be Best Man) as she has just told hubby to be that she wants to keep her maiden name for business purposes (she owns her own company). Surprisingly (I know you don't know him but it is) he has gone absolutely bat sh*t about this. I didn't know he thought it an important factor, apparently he does.

    Should a woman always take her husbands name when they marry? I suggested going double barrelled but it is a pants name - not quite Smith-Jones but not far from it.
  2. take the hubbies name, it dosent mean she has to change the business name

    I would be pissed off in his place aswell :cry:
  3. If it only for business purposes that is quite normal and your mate is being totally unreasonable. Many women I work with keep own name for work and use husband's name for kids, personal stuff etc - makes sense from a security point of view as well as profesionally. Maybe it is pre-wedding nerves on your friend's part if he is not usually an irrational person.
  4. J_D

    J_D LE

    She can take her hubby's name and still keep her maiden name on buisness. It don't have to change because she is getting married.

    Same as signiture, when you marry you can still keep the signature you had before.

    Its not something she should get stressed about. A little reasurrance and calm her down and it will be fine
  5. To be fair to him they've been together for 3 years and she has never raised it before. I don't think he expects her to change all her business stuff but does object to her being known as Ms XXXX (that's not her name before the smart arrses start). But I wasn't looking for guidance on these 2 just the actual question itself?
  6. RTFQ


    Initial reaction that has been programmed into me by the nice brigade is "No, she's her own person, it doesn't mean anything blah blah blah"

    But in his place I'd feel like it was a rejection, and I'd feel like the more judgemental non PC gits among my friends (ie. all of them) would think "yeah yeah, like he wears the trousers in that marriage." In honesty, I initially think that when I meet similar couples. It's not necessarily right, or grown-up for that matter, but it's how I'd feel.

    Seems quite a personal punch to take in the interests of expediency.

    If she genuinely wants people to see her as an independent woman and he wants to be Man of The Houser then they have a few things to square away re: marriage expectations/what they want from each other/how they see each other and themselves, BEFORE they tie the knot.

    Not easy things to discuss but this point is (maybe) symptomatic of greater things that need sorting soonest.
  7. I think from your last post I misunderstood - do you mean she doesn't want his name at all? I tok it to mean she will use her own name at work.............
    Easier to use husband's name if they are planning to have a family.Why doesn't he take her name as a compromise if he wants them to both have same name? If she is known as Ms XXXX to clients she will want to keep that reputation etc she presumably has worked hard for.
  8. J_D

    J_D LE

    I still can't see why she can't take his name for family and marriage and use her maiden name for business.

    I see the guys side if she's only brought it up now, which is fair as she can't expect him to jump on band wagon as the name is everything.

    If the guys surname is not used then its the deadline to his families name if he is only son.

    But if they are arguing other this fact, will the marriage even last the distance if they can't come to an agreement?
  9. Did you miss the bit about him going bat sh*t in the initial post???

    Like I said, I wasn't looking to help these 2 out - they will be fine - but wondered what the views on the subject as a whole were.

    To clarify I think he has misunderstood her, she will take his name but keep her maiden name for business use. Personally I think she has had a bit of a blonde moment with this!
  10. She should be forced to take on her husband's name.
  11. .........your reason being......................?
  12. Neither of our daughters took thier husbands name. They both felt that the name given them was good enough and that changing thier names wouldn't make the marriage any better or worse than if they took thier hubby's names.

    They also feel that since there is no boy in our family to carry on the family name, that they will at least carry it on by retaining it.

  13. J_D

    J_D LE

    Thats a bit harsh, but if you like to be dominated then why not
  14. Cutaway

    Cutaway LE Reviewer

    Well get a grip and start producing some male heirs then !

    Crack on, look lively, no time like the present, etc
  15. You offering your services cuts honey!! :lol: :lol: :lol: