Married life

Discussion in 'The Other Half' started by jock1471, Nov 11, 2010.

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  1. Hello all,

    A hypothetical set of questions that I guess others may have some experience of and could perhaps provide me with a few answers;
    I am currently serving in a TA inf battalion as a l/cpl so have an idea of how army life works, I am now however thinking about going regular. To give you some background, I am 23 years old (getting on a bit for getting processed through the depot), have a wife who is a nurse and son who is nearly 1 year old. I was looking to get answers to a few of the questions that my wife has.

    At what stage would you move into a married quarter, would it be as soon as you get to your chosen battalion/squadron? How do the partners of soldiers manage job wise? Moving around every few years would not provide great job prospects for someone out with the Army and in my case, with my wife being a nurse this would most likely ruin her career prospects. How do the wifes & families cope when their soldiers are on exercise or deployment, do they meet up with the other wifes for a chinwag and brew...?

    Last question before I bore you all to death, how do married couples with children cope with childcare, are the other families in the married quarters generally quite helpful and babysit for each other - or is it a case of get on with it yourself? If my wife managed to get a nursing job wherever I was posted, does anyone have any experience of what my situation could be, for example if she was on a nightshift and I was deployed somewhere or on guard who would look after the children - does the army make any provisions families with children? Or is it a case of get on with it and fork out your own childcare?

  2. I was going to post a very similar thread and it'd be great if someone in this situation now could answer :).
  3. It is your responsibility to sort out childcare.
  4. That's a lot of questions, some of which do not readily lead to factual answers. In terms of procedural answers you may have more joy in the RHQ forum. I believe that you cannot get an MQ during Phase 1 but are eligible during Phase 2, depending on the length of time spent there. JSP 464 will give answers on entitlement and eligibility. You are definitely entitled once you get to your Duty Station. In terms of your wife's employability, nurses should always be able to find work, depending on the local situation and her ability. In terms of moving, it really depends on what cap-badge you join and if you are trickle posted or arms-plotted. I'd plan on moving every three years as a minimum.

    In terms of childcare, I can't help there as I am not in that boat. However, it will come down to life-style choices and a cost-benfit analysis. Does she value work more than raising the nippers? In terms of social life, how well does she get on with the neighbours now and how well does she cope with you being away? You will almost inevitably do an OP HERRICK tour in the first couple of years. Some wives cope well with that, some don't.

    For what it is worth, you have got to decide to join or not, depending on whatever criteria is important to you. When it is good, the Army is fantastic, but you won't find out unless you try. If it isn't right then you can always leave. At 23 yrs you are not that old these days but the Army is full and about to get smaller. You may find it harder to get in to your first choice of regiment or trade.
  5. blue-sophist

    blue-sophist LE Good Egg (charities)

    That just about sums it up.

    It's your life, and it presents 'challenges'. That includes looking after jock1471 Minor.

    During my 30 years service, there were endless conflicts of priorities.
    Posting here, posting there, her job, my job.
    The one thing you can guarantee is that it's YOUR problem to resolve the difficulties.

    UK Mil plc does not run a creche.

    That said, mates will help, but that's not a guaranteed babysitting service.
  6. Also make sure your wife understands that the Army will be your primary 'wife'. Although the Army will do everything it can to assist there are times when it is a case of crack on.