Married gents, I need your help!

#1
Mrs. Corporal asks, "Want to watch a movie now?"
Corporal answers, "No, thanks."

Five minutes later:
Mrs. Corporal asks, "Want to watch a movie now?"
Corporal answers, "No, thanks."

Five minutes later:
Mrs. Corporal asks, "Want to watch a movie now?"
Corporal answers, "WHAT THE F*CK HAS CHANGED IN THE UNIVERSE THAT MAKES YOU THINK I WOULD LIKE TO WATCH A MOVIE?."


Why do women get so f*ckin' stupid after you marry them?


Serious replies only, please. :D
 
#3
Because as soon as they get their ring on that finger they have the majority of their brain removed, the part they say's "do you have to go on exercise? or does a scale A parade mean you have to go.

The part that is left only exists to nag the living crap out of u, like on return from a six month tour child misbehaves automatically it's your fault.

It's our own fault though we think they won't change yet they do.

God i wish i was single.
 
#5
I apologise for the chav speak right now will beat myself later on
 
#7
I am so in trouble if I attempt to answer this .......... but ...........

the wedding ring must be impregnated with the same ingredient as wedding cake - bromide (or similar). Sex drive suppressant - kills it stone dead.

Only kidding darling - honest!!
 
#8
What was the alternative to watching the movie ?? women are devious creatures so there must have been an alterior motive somewhere
 
#9
Osacin, simple, I know what you mean about ulterior motive, it would no way of been upstairs early action, I would put a quid or two on somethin like washin up 9so I don't have to do it in the mornin) or at this festive time of year gettin covered in rockwool in the loft gettin crimbo decorations out lol. Has to be some shit reason.
 
#10
Rapierman said:
Osacin, simple, I know what you mean about ulterior motive, it would no way of been upstairs early action, I would put a quid or two on somethin like washin up 9so I don't have to do it in the mornin) or at this festive time of year gettin covered in rockwool in the loft gettin crimbo decorations out lol. Has to be some s*** reason.

Rockwool !!!! A mate of mine was getting grief while laying in bed with his missus about geting the crimbo decs down. It ended up a full blown hum dinger when he said "FCUK IT !!! I,ll get them down now " 10mins scrambling in the loft naked resulted in a foreskin full of rockwool and a visit to A&E . The poor b@stard had scratched his old chap to ribbons. Aparently it still stung when he took a wazz for 3 months afterwards !!!!!. He also looked a tw@t walking like John Wayne across the bar !!!

Regards LT.
 
#11
The chances are there was a very girly, tear jerker on the telly or a horrer that she wanted to watch but needed her man to be there so she had someone to cuddle!!!!!!! Either that or she was sick to death of watching football and was thinking of slashing her wrists but thought a movie might prevent the blood flow. Next time say yes babe!!!! and check the results.
 
#12
You're lucky she asked. Mrs Biscuits has full control of the flicker, when Biccies Jnr doesn't have it. :x
 
#13
Could very well be that she had a porno movie in mind. :roll:
 
#15
biscuits said:
You're lucky she asked. Mrs Biscuits has full control of the flicker, when Biccies Jnr doesn't have it. :x
Good God, man! I don't know about a thumb-print on your head, you must have a proper indentation in your skull!! Assert yourself, before you start having sand kicked in your face by 5 year-old girls and grannies!!! :p
 
#16
DozyBint said:
biscuits said:
You're lucky she asked. Mrs Biscuits has full control of the flicker, when Biccies Jnr doesn't have it. :x
Good God, man! I don't know about a thumb-print on your head, you must have a proper indentation in your skull!! Assert yourself, before you start having sand kicked in your face by 5 year-old girls and grannies!!! :p
Naah, keeps her quiet :) Besides, there's feck all worth watching on the idiot box most of the time. And I get to watch Top Gear and the footy, and the skiing, rallying, F1, athletics, etc, pretty much unmolested by the kids, all for the price of Eastenders.
And as I refuse to watch that shoite, I feck off to play Medal of Honour when I hear the theme tune :p
 
#17
Really, if you do some honest soul-searching about that question...do you truly want us to be smart after you marry us?

Long debates about the future role of the BBC in the era of globalization, or the co-opting of British independent film by American studios, while naked in bed may be part of the dizzying bliss of courtship. But chances are, after a few years, the last thing you're going to want is to talk theory in the sack...all you're really going to want to do when you get home is glue your a$$ to the couch, pick your nose and watch "Top Gear." Forget intellectual exchanges in bed.

And strangely, when we see you with a finger jammed up your nostril to the knuckle while you chunter about sport coupes, the urge to give you a blowjob goes right out the window. But I digress.

Smart women ask probing questions designed to trap you, such as: "So, did you remember to buy your mother's birthday gift today?" or "We're having dinner with Tarquin and Eugenie on Friday...that Eugenie, she's brilliant, isn't she? It must be very hard for her to be smart and gorgeous. Wouldn't you agree? Hello? What's your answer?" Who really needs that at the end of the day?

Face it, it's easier for us to twitter and flutter around the house like the birds in Disney movies. Ultimately it amuses you, and gives you something to whinge about when you're at the pub with your mates, ogling twenty-year-old students that wouldn't even consider giving you a sh@g until you get that sport coupe. :D
 
#18
Mine other half does two things, has anyone else had these, she uses the remotes to flip around the channels, just as you get interested in a new program the commercial break comes up and flip, new channel and the quote "oh this is on I watched this last night when you were out" so we now watch this, when this has a commercial break, guess what! flip back to the original channel! result me saying " why can`t we watch one f-ing channel, give em here!" her response normally " well if your going to be like that, i`m going for a bath". I now have the choice of the rest of the programmes I have nearly watched or something else..

The second links to the first I`m down the unit, come home she`s watching CSI or something,or has been for her 30 second concentration span, she goes off to put kettle on it goes like this:

me " wheres the remotes"
her " on the settee"
Me "where, there not"
her "on the arm"
me "NO they are not!"

she then comes in rummages around and pulls them from between the arm and the cushion you sit on.

her "here it is"
me " Oh, of course should of known, on the arm means stuffed down the bloody side"

When will they realise the TV is a male device its workings and power are only understood by us males.
 
#19
Mrs. Corporal ask me to watch a porn with her??? HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

I've got a better chance of getting Martha Stewart to give me a hummer in the middle of Times Square.
 
#20
TankiesYank said:
Really, if you do some honest soul-searching about that question...do you truly want us to be smart after you marry us?

Long debates about the future role of the BBC in the era of globalization, or the co-opting of British independent film by American studios, while naked in bed may be part of the dizzying bliss of courtship. But chances are, after a few years, the last thing you're going to want is to talk theory in the sack...all you're really going to want to do when you get home is glue your a$$ to the couch, pick your nose and watch "Top Gear." Forget intellectual exchanges in bed.

And strangely, when we see you with a finger jammed up your nostril to the knuckle while you chunter about sport coupes, the urge to give you a blowjob goes right out the window. But I digress.

Smart women ask probing questions designed to trap you, such as: "So, did you remember to buy your mother's birthday gift today?" or "We're having dinner with Tarquin and Eugenie on Friday...that Eugenie, she's brilliant, isn't she? It must be very hard for her to be smart and gorgeous. Wouldn't you agree? Hello? What's your answer?" Who really needs that at the end of the day?

Face it, it's easier for us to twitter and flutter around the house like the birds in Disney movies. Ultimately it amuses you, and gives you something to whinge about when you're at the pub with your mates, ogling twenty-year-old students that wouldn't even consider giving you a sh@g until you get that sport coupe. :D
She's good. Especially for a yank bird :wink:
 

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