Married at Sandhurst

Evening all,

On entry to Sandhurst I will be married with children, are there any allowances/special arrangements made for this? If not it's looking like a lonely year for the wife and daughter!

Think of it as good practice for the years of deployment ahead
You may be able to get them in to a local pad, a mate of mine managed this when he went through. But he was already serving.

I doubt they´d give you a house through basic, but maybe from the end of the first term onwards.

Then you could visit them on weekends or otherstanddowns. You live in the block regardless of marriage status during the course.

Ask at the ACIO or any other liason you may have.
Being a clerk and ex PS at sandbags - the answers a big fat neggers cheggers - you will have to reside at the academy until you pass out. Have a nice year of lonliness. i fcukin hated it there and I was PS!!!!
I loved it there! But I wasn't married then.

We had a married ex-ranker Postie in our intake who was prone to homesickness and blubbing, believe it or not, because he missed his family. Drip.

But Mrs & Miss M will be in 'training' just like you - they'd better get used to it! And YOU will struggle if you're constantly worried about them. The first five weeks will be bloody wearing.

Good luck!

One of my cadets, when I taught there a few years ago was in a similar situation. From what I recall you will see very little of the family during the first term - with the exception of the couple of long weekends (Fri afternoon to Sun evening). In the second and third term you will have more opportunities to go home on non-long weekends, but it still won't be much. If you are a decent bloke and fully contribute and get on with your Pl Comd and CSgt then there might be a few extra weekend opportunities where your attendance at Chapel is not required. However, I would prepare for a long year where you are going to be very busy and your family will firmly come second - in the same way that once commissioned you will, at times, be expected to place the needs of your soldiers above the immediate needs of your family (ie spending time with your soldiers when you would like to be spending it with the family). Ultimately the early years in the Army (for soldiers and officers) are pretty family unfirendly in that you will spend lots of time away on courses and be trying to learn your business. That is not to say that you will be at a disadvantage in comparison to the unmarried guys but you will just have to work harder to keep your personal and professional lives on an even keel. It will be hard but is not impossible. Best advice I can give is don't use the family as an excuse for why you can't do things at RMAS. Be a good bloke, get stuck in and you will get some reward for that. Good luck.
wehappyfew said:
..............Ultimately the early years in the Army (for soldiers and officers) are pretty family unfirendly in that you will spend lots of time away on courses and be trying to learn your business...........
I would also add that it isn't just the early years. There will be many times where work comes above family life. Mallangong you need to be very clear to your wife that the Army is a vocation rather than a job because if she doesn't realise the implications of being married into the army she will only resent you as you explain another absence in the future. You will not always be able to have nice fixed hours but you take the rough with the smooth. I don't mean to paint the army in a bad light because there are days (or years, if you get the right posting) when you will get late starts, early finishes and some respite from the normal chaos! Best of luck.
May I second that. The Army is infernally difficult for wives (and kids), they need to understand that your soldiers will always come first, no matter how hard you try to keep the balance between them and your family. I was very lucky to marry a soldier's daughter who understood the way of life, although there were times when it was very difficult for both of us. Please explain it to your wife very carefully otherwise you will both be miserable. But on the plus side Army life is wonderful, once you accept its limitations and demands. I did 35 years and enjoyed every minute!
You will need to ensure that the family don't become too much of a distraction.

I was sidetracked slightly in 2nd term of Sandbags by a long term girlfriend. At one point the Pl Comd voiced this to me, pointing out that I was being distracted from my main effort - namely commissioning.

Luckily I had realised I was jeapardising my chances and she was acting up, so we parted ways about 4 days before the Pl Comd had a chat with me. The look on his face when I told him that it wasn't an issue because we had split up - a mix of sympathy and disappointment that there was no longer a requirement for the difficult chat we were having! A bit like your Dad's chat to you about birds and bees...I digress.

If you cannot focus 100% on the job in hand at Sandhurst (and obviously after) and your wife is not 100% understanding and supportive, your military career will be either just difficult for you to deal with, or hampered by your continued need to sort your priorities (missing mess events, not wanting to participate fully in activities, not putting in enough effort with your Troop etc).

In short, no house there, but good luck!
Hmmm..... it would be interesting to hear your thoughts now, Mallangong!
..........oh!? You clearly don't have any. Cracking officer material!!

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