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Book Reviewer
Getting married was the best thing I ever did, after my first marriage.
Things will change in your mind and you will feel content and satisfied for the rest of your life, or until you hate each other so much you get a divorce, which hopefully would be never.
I'm ok there i think because even though my wife is always pissed off with me, I still love her, its gonna be 20 years together this Christmas, and I still look at her and think what a lucky bastard I am, she should of got rid of me years ago, so marriage also gives you tolerance.
If it was not for my wife i would of gone off the rails and ended up in a bad place, she is remarkably strong and holds us all together, even more so over the last few years when i have been unable to do much. I might be a grumpy bastard and not been the ideal husband but she is the perfect wife and also my best mate.
It's pretty good, then you get the rug whipped out from under your feet and you're left thinking "what the screaming blue fuck happened there?". I wasn't exactly the ideal husband, I don't think anyone can be, and she wasn't exactly the ideal wife, as I don't think that's possible either. You do your best, but I'm going to stop now before I get totally fucking wound up, send her another email asking how the kids are as she hasn't bothered telling me anything for 10 days, and that was just to say that Mk2's football team has a post match report at this website - presumably so she doesn't have to bother her arse to write anything - because last time I did that I ended up sending 2 mails in a day asking what was going on because I hadn't heard anything for nearly three weeks I think it was, and that was apparently harrassing her by email and she had to go to the doctor and get valium or something.

Poor fucking poppet. I hope the kids are running her ragged and she has a heart attack at a really inconvenient moment
Marriage ...is beautiful in the imagination.

The problem is women make up these beautiful married worlds in their heads. The house full of Argos furniture (wishing it was M & S or John Lewis) ...beautiful well behaved children dressed in Primark (wishing it was M & S or Next) ...a husband that makes love to her like Mr Darcy (when he wants hot hard porn sex ...or the odd bj) ...holidays in quaint cottages and luxury hotels abroad (instead of Bustlins where the family nearly kills each other)...dinner parties with delightful friends; a table with porcelain plates, silver cutlery and napkins (takeaway meals with lager and wine ...or Toby Carvery) ..

Unfortunately if you have married a woman like the above ...it will end badly. Marriage is about managing expectations and accepting the life you have together, if you can't ...best not be in it.
How do you turn a Fox into an Elephant? Marry it!

What's the best contraceptive in the world? Wedding cake.......etc etc


Book Reviewer
The problem with marriage is women.

Not that I am up for marrying a bloke, but I have the misfortune of having a daughter who watches "Don't Tell The Bride". Fucking women bleating on about it's her day so it must be perfect.

Fuck you princess, you are not special.

2 blokes get married, a couple of pints beforehand, quick registry office thingy, few more pints, off to the footy, few more pints after the game and a curry and a night of lesbian porn.

And that don't want a cuddle afterwards........

Or so I'm told..


Anyone watch Kelly's Heroes last night?

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