"Mans penis removed from pipe" Daily telegraph

#5
could not get the man's penis out of the stainless steel pipe because the restricted blood flow had caused it to become aroused.
What was wrong with cutting the pipe back about half inch short of the head then a well directed elestic band, soon would have "deflated" his ego.
 
#7
I'm sure we're all wondering what diameter the pipe was... 22mm or 3" perhaps?

And how long before the FB video reaches Youtube...
 
#8
Worst place I've been stuck up? Ex-wife?
 
#9
I've never been stuck up. I've always been just a regular down to earth guy.
 
#10
When it said pipe, I thought it meant a smokers pipe... I had visions of Eric Morecambe with some bloke shagging his pipe whilst he smoked it.

...and I couldn't help noticing a link to this picture on that page:

 
#11
BarkingSpider said:
When it said pipe, I thought it meant a smokers pipe...
I wasn't the only one then...........Thank Fcuk :oops:
 
#12
What a nob, dick, c0ck, etc



coat, taxi


stilts
 
#13
Surely you meant what a "tube" STILTS?

Excellent, we can share this taxi...
 
#14
General_Layabout said:
could not get the man's penis out of the stainless steel pipe because the restricted blood flow had caused it to become aroused.
What was wrong with cutting the pipe back about half inch short of the head then a well directed elestic band, soon would have "deflated" his ego.
You seem to have a strange knowledge about this sort of thing :)
did it work for you?
 
#15
He'd definitely had a visit from the mighty Emperor Mong

EM Loyal subject, It's a boring Wednesday, why don't you add a little spice to your life by partaking in some form of pipe related sexual activity

Mystery 40 year old But your grace, surely the diameter of said pipe will not take my blood engorged member

EM SILENCE, of course it will and you will be able to remove it with ease so that no one will ever discover your tube-esque antics

Mystery 40 year old brr brr yes fire service please.....

EM Mwwwaaaaaahhhh
 
#16
"The patient was given an anaesthetic and his penis was left bruised and swollen but otherwise unharmed" :oops:

Stupid boy...... should have stuck it in a chicken bought from a supermarket..... nice and soft and no sharp bits..... or better still, a couple of pounds of rump steak.... voila, you still have your lunch after use.... A bit fishy, but hey, its adds to the flavor... :roll:
 
#17
Drivers_log said:
When I was about 13 I had a shot at sticking my knob in the hoover. It's not true about the whirling blades of the fan, but what IS true is that the air rushes past your tool and makes a noise like blowing a rasberry. This is caused by your knob being bashed against the insides of the tube in a most alarming and painful fashion. I would not recommend it.
Don't you just fucking love squaddies? Even at 13 you had a very keenly developed sense of stupidity as far as sticking your knob into things was concerned.

Would a civvy (let's say a manager for tesco's) admit to the whole world that sticking your knob in the hoover not only hurts but makes a farty sound to boot? no he fucking wouldn't

That is the beauty of arrse. Drivers log, Sir, I salute you. True genius is rare but that just made me laugh for a solid five minutes
 
#18
#19
Did no "LONG" term damage according to his girlfriend, who recently underwent major hole reduction surgery. :D :D
 

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