Mans Best Friend?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by jimmys_best_mate, Oct 22, 2005.

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  1. "A drunk who claimed he had been raped by a dog was yesterday jailed for 12
    months by a judge. Martin Hoyle, 45, was arrested by police after a passing
    motorist and his girlfriend found a Staffordshire bull terrier, called
    Badger, having sex with him at the side of a road in Huddersfield, West

    Prosecutor Ben Crosland said the couple had stopped to help because they
    thought Hoyle was being attacked by the animal. But when they got closer
    they saw that he had his trousers round his ankles, was down on all fours
    and the dog was straddling him from behind.

    "The defendant mumbled something about the dog having taken a liking to
    him," said Mr Crosland. "The couple were extremely offended and sickened by
    what they saw." Another passing motorist contacted the police and Hoyle was
    arrested as he walked with the dog down the road.

    Hoyle, of East view, Marsh, Huddersfield, told police "I can't help it if
    the dog took a liking to me. He tried to rape me."

    He repeated the rape allegation at the police station and added "The dog
    pulled my trousers down." Hoyle, who has had a long-standing alcohol
    problem, was jailed for 12 months after he admitted committing an act which
    outraged public decency.

    His barrister said Hoyle had no memory of the incident because of his
    drunken state, but was now very remorseful and incredibly embarrassed.

    Jailing him, Judge Alistair McCallum told Hoyle "Never before in my time at
    the bar or on the bench have I ever had to deal with somebody who
    voluntarily allowed himself to be buggered by a dog on the public highway.
    Frankly it is beyond most of our comprehension. It is an absolutely
    disgusting thing for members of the public to have to witness."

    From the Yorkshire Post
  2. Ahhh yorkshire.

    Say no more squire!!

  3. Would it have been more acceptable if the Staffy had been called Beaver? :twisted:
  4. Would have thought Roger would be a better name.

    I just wish to state that as a Yorkshireman with two staffordshire bull terriers I have nothing to hide.
  5. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    So, are you trying to tell us that you perform in public as well? :oops: :lol:
  6. Did the dog use KY ? Was there any foreplay involved ? Did the dog smoke a cigarette afterwards and fart ? How did the dog get the man's trousers down ? Was any oral involved before-hand ? Does the man have a particularly attractive rear that dogs relish ? Is (was) the man married ? Did the dog attend obedience training classes ? Was the dog a sniffer ?

    This story is incomplete and left too many unanswered questions.
  7. Only for money, and I insist that the dogs wear masks to preserve their anonimity.
  8. Went out, got drunk, had sex with a dog. Now where have I heard that before?
  9. I'm from Marsh in Huddersfield :shock: although I'm now living in Wales (leave those sheep jokes alone!)
  10. From you mums bedtime stories?

    I prefer i nice thick set Great Dane or a Spaniel.... you can grip their ears as they buck :D