Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by jimflint, Mar 24, 2011.

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  1. Man


    Man is a woman's best friend.

    He will reassure her when she feels insecure and comfort her after

    a bad day.

    He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do;
    to live without fear and forget regret.

    He will enable her to express her deepest emotions
    and give in to her most intimate desires.

    He will make sure she always feels that she's the most beautiful
    woman in the room and will enable her to be confident,
    sexy, seductive, and invincible.


    No wait...... sorry....... I'm thinking of wine.

    It’s wine that does all that.

  2. [​IMG]











  3. [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]A woman was walking along when she saw a most unusual funeral procession
    approaching the nearby cemetery.

    A long black hearse was followed by a second long
    black hearse about 50 feet behind the
    first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary
    woman walking a Mastiff on a lead. Behind her, a short distance
    back, were about 200 women walking single file.

    The woman was so curious that she respectfully
    approached the woman walking the dog and said,
    "I am so sorry for your loss and I know now is a
    bad time to disturb you, but I have never seen a funeral like this.
    Whose funeral is it?"

    "My husband's."

    "What happened to him?"

    The woman replied, "He was drunk and hit me, my dog attacked and killed him."

    She inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"

    The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was
    trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her."

    A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two women.

    "Can I borrow the dog?"

    "Get in line."