Man plans to take a dump on the royal gaurd!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Nightrained, Dec 11, 2009.

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    5000 members to watch Malcolm Kerr shit on the palace guardsCategory:Entertainment & Arts - HumourDescription:Right. Many of you know Malcolm Kerr - the lucky ones of you don't. He loves shit. Doing shit. On things. And people. Like the time he made a girl throw up when he took a shit on Princes St. Or the time he took a shit in his hand. Or, most famously, the fact he's not allowed in any casino in Scotland after taking a shit on a blackjack table to win a £5 bet.

    But now - his biggest challenge ever.

    On a drunk night out, I challenged him to take a shit on the feet of the palace guards at Buckingham Palace. And in his vulnerable state, he agreed.Now, theory says the palace guards are not allowed to move. I want to see if that's true or not. Plus, Malcolm loves shitting in exotic places. This is a win-win situation for everyone involved.

    However, I need your help!

    The bet is this: If I can get this group to 5,000 members, Malk will do the deed. I will drive down to London with him and video him defecating on his victim. The video/pictures will then be uploaded to facebook for all to see.

    How can you not want to see this?!?!

    I need help!! Please join and invite your friends!!

    Phillip Laing got smashed by the papers for urinating on a war memorial. I want more.

    "Boy jailed for shitting on feet of palace guards."

    My life will be complete.

    How would you react if this man took a sh!t on your best boots?
  2. The "not allowed to move bit" is not as true as people think. I'm fairly sure this chap would be getting a swift right hook, or a present arms to the grid.
  3. I'd take great pleasure in putting the said sh!t back where it came from...
  4. he'd find a fcking bayonet up his yack piece.
  5. And i'd shit in the hole the fukin arsehole :twisted:
  6. Surely this hermer can't be too hard to track down by some of our Redford Barracks based brothers? Now I'm not advocating pre-emptive violence, but pre-emptive defecating on, well probably.
  7. How gutted he would be if a young guard screamed "PROTECT THE QUEEN!!!!!!" and went bandit peppering him with bayonet strikes and butt strokes!
  8. You assume it would be allowed to get that far past me for him to even get his pants down 8)
  9. What a twonk, if he gets past the plod at the front I'm sure he will enjoy the taste of rifle butt and two hacked off Gurdsmen jumping on his head (hopefully he will choose a day when they are double tapping out the front, then he will have 4 Guardsmen jumping on his head). :evil:
  10. If Odi in Garfield 2 got chased down the high street by a Guardsman for only wazzing on his boots, then I think your 'friend' may find himself in trouble NT... :roll:
  11. Last year, that Italian student pretty much got his coccyx shattered by a size 10 for taking the piss whilst marching alongside a guardsman. I'm tempted to suggest everyone joins this group and then puts bets on how many notches of his belt this twonk can undo before he a)gets ripped into the guardroom or b) gets used as a human sledge down Birdcage Walk.
  12. I am tempted to join this group now. Not so I can watch him take a shite but so I can watch a guardsman kicking all seven shades of sh*t out of him!
  13. Surely merely coming to attention would mean that a GBFO shiny boot would connect nicely with the little scrote's erm, scrote?!
  14. He will get bayoneted, cnut.
  15. ARRSE Petition - get signed up!!