Man in Hell.

Discussion in 'Southern Africa' started by Tool, Sep 14, 2010.

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  1. A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He decides he'll pick the least painful to spend his eternity.

    He goes to German Hell and asks, "What do they do here?"
    He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day".
    The man does not like the sound of that at all so he moves on. He checks out the USA Hell as well as the Russian Hell and many more. He discovers that they are all similar to the German hell.

    Then he comes to the South African Hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?"

    He is told: "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. The South African devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."

    "But that is exactly the same as all the other hells. Why are there so many people waiting to get in?" he asks.

    "Because Eskom is struggling and is powerless, there is never any electricity, so the electric chair does not work. The nails were paid for but never supplied, so the bed is comfortable to sleep on.
    And, on top of that, the South African devil is a government employee, he won't come to work till he gets his 12% increase, which of cause will never happen! "
     
  2. So, there's a new arrival in Hell which is getting pretty full by now so the devil wonders where to put him. Showing him the first great hall he sees loads of people naked people slipping and falling on broken glass. Not liking this choice he moves on. In the next great hall it's absolutely baking hot and full of people who are baking and roasting their flesh off. Not liking this choice either he moves on. In the next great hall he finds people standing up to thier waists in excrement drinking cups of tea. Oh well this isn't quite as bad as the others I'll put up with this hall. A few minutes later he's standing in the poo up to his waist and just got a cup of tea when the devil comes back in saying, "Right then tea break's over, back on your heads."
     
  3. Ord_Sgt

    Ord_Sgt RIP

    The guy arrives in hell and asks what is to be expected. Well on Mondays we have smoking day, we all get to smoke the finest Havana cigars and any type of tobacco that takes your fancy, this is Hell you can't catch cancer here. Not so bad what about Tuesdays? Tuesdays is drugs night, any and all the drugs you fancy, all day, this is hell after all it can't hurt you. And Wednesdays, Wednesdays is alcohol day, all the booze you can drink, you don't have to worry about your liver in hell. Not too bad says your man, and Thursdays? Thursdays are lesbian day, the sexiest women doing the most degrading acts for your sexual pleasure. Your man starts to think hell is not so bad, and Fridays? Fridays is gay porn day, you're gay right?