Man Flu

#1
Ok, I know I'm not dying as such, but I feel like I am and what does Mrs PotYos do? Complain I'm faking it and that I don't know what illness is really like.

So am I just a whinging gobshite or should I be getting some sympathy from her?
 
#2
Women will not give us any sympathy because they realise God gave them periods and pregnancy as a punishment...and are bitter and twisted as a result!!!!
 
#6
janieo said:
Sorry no sympathy here, my old man gets terminal man flu and nobody is as ill as him :shaking: :pukel: :dead: :skull:
Are we playing Man-Flu Top Trumps now? :)
 
#7
Don't want to enter a urine-ing contest but my man flu is the worst, the whole world is out to get me and I don't care what you claim to feel, its nothing compared to my suffering :p
 
#8
PotYos said:
Don't want to enter a urine-ing contest but my man flu is the worst, the whole world is out to get me and I don't care what you claim to feel, its nothing compared to my suffering :p
Poof.

When I had man-flu, I lost three fingers and couldn't walk for two years, one of which was retro-active meaning I couldn't walk for 12 months *before* I was ill.

And I went blind, although that could've been for other reason... *cough*
 
#9
Flu? fukcing flu? You is a poof son!, what is you?
 
#12
PotYos said:
Ok, I know I'm not dying as such, but I feel like I am and what does Mrs PotYos do? Complain I'm faking it and that I don't know what illness is really like.

So am I just a whinging gobshite or should I be getting some sympathy from her?
How dissapointing, I rushed to this thread expecting a Wrights Brothers type breakthrough in engineering.

I'll get my coat and handbag.... :roll:
 
#13
Fecking man flu! MEN none of you can take illness!! Take my OH for instance, was ill for days he was, barely out of bed, lazy bugger was only E. coli... tell you men are such pussys.
 
#15
PotYos said:
NOooo im not claiming its flu. Its man flu, a subtle - but vital - difference.
Yes it's call a "slight cold" but men seem to think that this is far worse than the colds that women get - which it isn't!!!
My dad gets "a cold" and spends the week walking round, shoulders hunched up, sniffing, and making all sorts of moaning noises like his leg is dropping off, all of which he feels are going to get him sympathy - which they don't his wife is a nurse as well as his daugher - absolutely no sympathy!!
 
#16
Thing is, blokes suffer once, maybe twice if unlucky, every year, and the virus makes us know about it.

Women are constantly ill with a lesser virus, one which creates minor symptoms but still renders them able to do all those essential womanly things, such as...erm...whatever it is they do in the kitchen...with the thing...the cooker.
 
#17
Man Flu also known as Bloke Flu

I’ve seen this common ailment before. Women are immune but men feel the full affects of man-flu - which is NOT the male variation of Bird Flu!

It starts as a sniffle possibly followed by a sneeze or two, if it's severe, and suddenly they are unable to leave the confines of the bed/sofa. Yet their ability to use the remote control/internet appears unimpaired along with their insistance any female in the house is at their beck and call and pandering to their every whim. It has been noted the incidence of man flu in single men is considerably lower that those with wives/live in girlfriends or doting mothers.

Recovery can be induced with a trip to the pub with his mates but be warned this "recovery" is only temporary. Once the alcohol has worn off the patient becomes more vocal. Suggestions of a hangover are dismissed as "nonsense" and the symptoms, in the eyes of the patient, are now considered life threatening meaning you will often hear the haunting words "I'm dying"!!
 
#18
From the 1999 World Health Organisation Report for NATO:

''What is Man Flu?
Homo influenza. This virulent strain afflicts the male of the species.

More than 200,000 people are hospitalized from flu complications, and about 36,000 people die from flu. All of them men and the elderly.

Symptoms of Man Flu
· Runny or stuffy nose
· Muscle aches
· Inability to do any function for one’s self, including self gratification (see below)

How Man Flu Spreads
Unlike the more common cold, Man Flu can erupt spontaneously under certain conditions, striking a man down in his prime. These include: Things happening at work or social functions that he wants to avoid, cold weather that’s ‘a bit rainy’ and just after a female partner has overcome a mild cold.

Treatment of Man Flu
There is no known cure or vaccine for Man Flu, though it remains a high priority in Public Health Laboratories across the world, along with premature ejaculation and receding hairlines. It is recommended that the symptoms be treated with unrelenting sympathy from those surrounding the patient, who requires constant attentive care. Spouses make for particularly good carers, and should be willing to perform any acts the afflicted needs, as this is known to speed recovery. Vocalising the patient’s suffering to those around him is also a primary factor in the healing process.''
 

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#19
Amazing a bloke raises a perfectly valid medical condition understood by most men and women start to mock and tell him to crack on.

Yet once a month blokes are supposed to be sypathetic to those visited by Aunt Maud/Painters etc and have some sort of intuative radar to detect the symptoms.

I've had Man Flu and as a regular donor given up a pint of blood, I know which one I'd rather do and still stay on my feet............................
 
#20
SITREP as at 181130Z

Sent home from work for being contagious!! Result!! Now to watch Trisha and similar crap all day.

Its great being a civil servant sometimes. For the record, I feel under the weather (yes I know its *only* a cold) but my boss feels it would be best if I don't infect the rest of the office and - for those of you that know me - I'm a stickler for the rules so I thought best to listen to my seniors.

Eventually I saw his reasoning, and with a skip and a whistle I was out of there.
 
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