Man 'accidentally' gets an eel stuck up his arrse!!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by bigbird67, Aug 3, 2010.

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  1. Yeah of course he did...He ACCIDENTALLY fell into a tank full of eels one of which 'shot up his bum'!!! He must have a ricker like tractor tyre!!
    Honest were an accident!!
  2. Dangerous things those if they carry guns and shot you up the arrse :-x
  3. Seriously - I work with a lot of medics. You'd be amazed at what blokes have shoved up their anus when they arrive in an A&E dept. I think the best one I've heard is a bloke you had a porn mag wrapped in clingfilm up his bum. Apparently he was decorating (in the nude as he didn't want to get paint on his clothes), fell off the ladder and onto his publication. It was covered in clingfilm to protect it. From the paint.
  4. But he slipped off his perch into the giant tank filled with hundreds of the writhing creatures.

    Chang said: "I guess they were scared when I suddenly landed in the tank so they started wriggling everywhere.

    "Several shot up my trouser leg. And then to my horror I felt one go up my bottom."

    Incredibly Chang was so embarrassed that he carried on working.

    He said: "I didn't say anything at first when I climbed out - I was too embarrassed. I dried myself off and tried to carry on working, but it was just too painful."

    "The eel was as wide as two fingers and as long as a man's arm."

    Seems perfectly plausible to me. Eels always head for safety and if that means forcing their way into a ring piece then so be it.

    As wide as two fingers and as long as a mans arm? He must have been there for hours trying to stuff that up his arse. Do you think he starched it first or straightened out a wire coat hanger and poked it up.
    How does one entice an eel up a bum hole?
  5. we've had
    coke bottles
    sex toys
    an Old Spice bottle...(the galleon looks really pretty on x-rays)
    spray deodorant cans
    children's toys
    and one of those long-necked French ornamental china cats...she backed onto it whilst hoovering in the nude!

    As for 'how do you get an eel up your arrse?'...same way you get a rat/hamster/mouse up insert a tube as an 'introducer' and drop said beastie down it before withdrawing the 'introducer' me, I'm medical!!
    • Like Like x 2
  6. Did he shout armageddon :)
    • Like Like x 1
  7. An 'Introducer'???? Like Cilla Black you mean?

    Or something like;

    'Hello Mr Eel, this is my friend Chow Ming and he has a special kind of desire. Would you mind just having quick look up there..............Yeah....go on right up, don't worry'
    • Like Like x 1
  8. P_J

    P_J Old-Salt Book Reviewer

    We had a gentleman with a potato up his arrse - said he was peeling them while he had a bath "to save water and time". I think the worst one I've heard about was the plaster of paris/cement that was inserted in liquid form as they wanted a cast of the inside of the guys arrse. Unfortunately for him, it set and expanded and resulted in major surgery. I believe he still has the colostomy.

    RE: the hamster etc - makes me cry with laughter as all I think about is Stephen Lynch's Go Gerbil.
  9. My ex-OH used to work in an A&E Dept. She used to come home regularly with tales like the bloke who arrived with a banana up his arrse, bloke with a jacket spud up his arrse, an old boy who turned up having just got off the bus with a wide-mouthed Lucozade bottle on his tool (Fire Bde had to cut the bottom of the bottle off with a glass cutter to get it off), & my own particular favourite, the bloke who managed to put one of those self-tightening rings they use to castrate pigs on his bell end. He left it too late to visit A&E, his knob had turned black & gangrenous & had to be amputated........OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!
    And in the interests of diversity, another one seen occasionally was the teenage girls who came in with aerosol can tops stuck up their vaginas because this was their preferred method of contraception. Needed an operation to remove them.
    Remember being in Tesco with the ex-OH one Saturday when she met the A&E receptionist, who proudly announced "You missed a good one on lates yesterday, a bloke came in with the biggest dildo I'd ever seen stuck up his hoop........."
    A&E Depts must be entertaining places to work!
  10. copepod

    copepod Old-Salt Book Reviewer

    Ventolin inhaler - think about the shape - OK, until it turns a right angle!
  11. One of my favorate jokes-
    Man turns up in a and e with an apple stuck up his arrse. He tells the doctor that he fell on it whilst cleaning naked, to which the doctor replies "well, its a good job that that apple was liberally coated in KY when you fell on it, otherwise that would have really hurt!"

    i'll get my coat.
  12. That's actually a true story.Obviously I can't tell you how I know.You'll have to ask Quentin about that.
  13. Fell off his PERCH? Good job only the eel got stuck!
  14. Thought you were supposed to keep schtum about my 'Accidents'!!