Male rules - OK

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by Nutstrangler, Nov 7, 2003.

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  1. We always hear the rules from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!
    Please note...they are all numbered 1) on purpose!

    1) Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. You need it up, we need it down. You don't hear us complaining when you leave it down.
    1) Sunday =sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
    1) Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
    1) Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
    1) Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
    1) A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
    1) Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
    1) If you won't dress like Charlie's Angels girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
    1) If you think that you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
    1) If something we said can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you angry or sad, we meant the other one.
    1) You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
    1) Whenever possible, please say what you have to during commercials
    1) Christopher Columbus did not need directions, neither do we.
    1) ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
    1) If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
    1) If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.
    1) If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer
    you don't want to hear.
    1) When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
    1) Don' ask us what we're thinking unless you're prepared to discuss such topics as rugby, World Superbikes or Formula 1.
    1) You have enough clothes.
    1) You have too many shoes.
    1) I am in shape. Round is a shape.
    1) Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know, men really don't mind that, it's like camping.