Mrs Scaley made it clear that if I wanted her to tart up her clout like off of pornhub that I should reciprocate.
So I've just been to Boots, bought a set of hair clippers and given myself a number three all over. Well, all the bits I could reach anyway. Much like weapons I really shouldn't be given access to money and time.
Anyway, I'm looking forward to her sorting out her sponge so it looks less like a burst couch with all the stuffing coming out and more like the sort of stuff I spend most of my time looking at on t'internet.
On lunch with a colleague quite some years ago I stuck my head round a hairdresser's door and asked how much for a number two. "All over?" she says, I says "Aye all over", thinking she'd do the lot, tackle out, but I couldn't quite believe it. "And your mate", she says, "cash up front". "Seriously all over?" says I, "yep" she says. "Both all over, £18 up front ta".
Matey was up for it so we paid and sat down. ""I always start on the top" she says, and the pair of us were shorn. As we were taking our shoes and socks off she says "what you doing?". "All over?, remember" says us. "All over your thick heads you've been done" she says with a cackle. "There's the door". Bastard.