Maldives Police to probe foul-mouthed wedding ceremony

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by freedomman, Oct 28, 2010.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. From the BBC:

    A video has emerged of the unidentified Western couple taking part in the small ceremony at the Vilu Reef resort.

    The amateur film of the ceremony, which was posted on the video sharing site Youtube a few days ago, shows the couple sitting in a makeshift shelter on the beach, surrounded by local people.

    The bride is wearing a white dress and carrying a bouquet, while incense, official looking documents and wedding rings lie on the table in front of them.

    The celebrant explains the ceremony in English before everyone stands and holds their hands up to pray.

    But instead of words of blessing, the celebrant uses the intonating style of prayers to unleash a torrent of abuse about the couple in the local Dhivehi language.

    "Your marriage is not a valid one. You are not the kind of people who can have a valid marriage. One of you is an infidel. The other, too, is an infidel - and we have reason to believe -an atheist, who does not even believe in an infidel religion,"

    "You fornicate and make a lot of children. You drink and you eat pork. Most of the children that you have are marked with spots and blemishes. These children that you have are bastards."

    The camera focuses on the paperwork in front of him, which local media say was not a marriage document but employment contracts - he then begins to read from these.

    The celebrant also makes references to bestiality, sexual diseases and "frequent fornication by homosexuals".

    After the ceremony, the couple are taken to plant a coconut tree together, during which various comments are made about the bride's breasts.

    Full story here, but the best bits are above: BBC News - Maldives police to probe foul-mouthed wedding ceremony

    Love to know what all the 'Latin' bits of my service were really about!
  2. rampant

    rampant LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    That made me laugh, I'd defy anyone here to say they wouldn't do similar if they had the oppurtunity.
  3. It's got to be expected really. It's like those mongs that go and get tats written in Chinese. Your just asking for it.
    I went to turkey for a bit in my last job and got mate with the hotel staff. We went for a kick around one night and they were saying that they regularly slag folk of to each other in front of them.

    Who's not heard some dick (usually from Sheffield?) Trying to teach waiters rude English words and making out its a normal phrase?
  4. I had a patient who had some chinese symbols tattoed on her neck I asked to look as I told her I could read some Chinese. I told her the words said 'Free sex' I have to say she was very annoyed. I did tell her the truth some months later.
  5. I like it. I used to work with a girl who was a right fat, gobby slit. She had the symbol for elegance on her ankle (tree trunk) always made me chuckle as she would roll past.
  6. I did use to know a Thai restaurant owner in Wakefield she'd smile sweetly and say 'Chuk Wow' (Or that's what it sounded like) to annoying customers. I believe it means go fly your kite ( You are a w4nker) Then she was always drunk and would mix up the dishes and get all the orders wrong and just send them out anyway thinking nobody would realise. My friend who is Thai worked there for a while and used to force her to throw out meat that was gone off, she was a terrible gambler and would spend all night at a casino in Leeds. The last I heard of her she'd sold the restaurant and spent the money in the casino and had nothing left within a couple of weeks.
  7. Have you got her phone number?
  8. No but i've got a picture of her but be careful when she gets drunk she tends to throw things, one night it was all the glasses in the restaurant, customers left in a hurry.
  9. Isn't this the old Harry Enfield sketch? when he played the loud mouthed Brummie in Spain and the waiter was verbally abusing him in Spanish whilst smiling at the same time?
  10. The lucky couple's experience, as seen on YouTube.

    (CA? Surely some mistake?)
  11. BuggerAll

    BuggerAll LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    Although I only have a limited amount of Cantonese its enough to know when waiters in Chinese restaurants are slagging off the punters. None of that oriental inscrutability bollox on their faces when if/when I let on that I understand what they are saying.
  12. My dad was a crab, and Welsh to boot...yeah yeah...i KNOW! When we were posted in Valley, he walked into the local post office in Caergeiliog in uniform one day to buy a stamp...2 old biddies behind him launched into a RIGHT slagging about the 'fucking English taking over the country blah blah blah'! The looks on their faces when he turned round and in perfect Welsh (his first language) told them that it was jolly rude, not to mention foolish to judge a book by its cover, and no wonder they were still sad, dried up old spinsters! Or words to that effect :D
  13. My late (Thank God!) mother in law was an Italian-American of the blond/blue eyed sort. She did not look like the stereotyped Italian. Was in a shop in Rome once and the clerk and manager were talking in Italian about how much to jack up the prices as she was a tourist. They did not realize she was totally fluent in Italian. She listened a minute and then gave them a piece of her mind. With my mother in law involved that could be a very painful experience.
  14. My late mother in Law was English. she went into an Indian Restaurant one night and didn't have the foggiest what they were on about. Oh, how we chuckled.
  15. That'll teach the morons to get married, it's for mugs, I tell you!