Malaysia lambasts Clarkson

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by Psypher, Apr 5, 2007.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Looks like Jeremy has offended Malaysian national pride:

    Are there any British owners? :p
  2. Probably none that would own up.
  3. Isn't a lambast some sort of Malaysian curry?
    Poor git!
  4. Clarkson offending an entire nation?...not like him at all! 8O
    I'm sure he managed it with the germans before by saying the german special edition mini would be fitted with satnav that only goes to poland!
    Laughed so hard i nearly puked! :D
  5. Rated at 55bhp in a vehicle tipping the scales at just 760kg, (115kg less than the Ford Ka) engine performance is lively (0-60mph in 14.8 seconds) and especially so when accelerating from lower speeds. At the other extreme, Kelisa happily cruises at the maximum motorway speed with power to spare. The top speed of 88mph is achieved in fourth gear with fifth providing improved economy and lower revs for cruising on the motorway.

    Says it all really! And that's the best Perodua themselves can come up with!
  6. I have had to google this as I have never even heard of it before.

    The UKs cheapest car?


    WhatCar? Gives it 2 stars, so a pretty cheap and nasty car by all accounts.
  7. I'm not sure if you could compare them to another Malaysian manufacturer, Proton but I had a prang in NI which of course wasn't my fault as somebody in front of me decided to stop when I wasn't looking.

    Disregarding such bad driving on his part, I examined the damage and the arrse end of his Proton was totally unscathed while the front end of my British built Metro was no more.
  8. oooooooooooooo someone's in trouble with the PC police.
  9. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    Question is, when would we produce such a car? Before, during or after the industrial action and working to rule?

    Every time these communists damage a company with their strikes for perceived unfairness to the staff (ignoring the financial plight of the company) they are most voluminous in the rhetoric and bile they spew forth. When the [company/mine/dockyard] (* Delete as appropriate) finally goes bust, you don't hear a murmer apart from 'Why did the gummint not do more to help the struggling company'.

    Don't get me started!

    As for Jermy Clarkson - let's not forget the recent spanking he gave the USA. I consider him to be a model British citizen who is doing his duty, which is to roundly slag off all other nationalities, their countries, products and cultures.
  10. I think JC was being generous. It really is a dog.

    From "Verdict on Cars"

    Quick Summary
    Avoid. It's the cheapest car on sale in Britain - but there's still no reason to be tempted.

    Full Road Test

    The Kelisa's lowly pricetag earns it more attention than it really deserves in terms of its merits as a car - and despite its bargain status, few will be tempted by a desperately dated package.

    In the Kelisa's defence, it has a couple of positive qualities. Its three cylinder engine has a nice, revvy sound to it and provides a spirited approximation of acceleration under urban use. Generous power assistance for the steering, a light gearchange and good visibility make it easy to park in tight spaces, too. And the seats are reasonably comfortable over the sort of short distances it's likely to be used for.

    Sadly, in every other area it's terrible. From the look of the grafted-on chrome radiator grille to badly designed, desperately dated interior it projects precisely zero ownership appeal. And beyond derestriction signs the engine's best efforts quickly come to naught, with the Perodoa barely able to overtake tractors and unhappy to cruise (noisily) at more than about 65 mph.

    Alarmingly, the Kelisa lacks ABS anti-lock brakes - they don't even feature on the options list. And under even moderate retardation the front tyres tend to lock up, with the car pulling to one side when this happens.

    Three models are available, with only the cheapest "EX" making the slightest case for itself. Punishing depreciation means that potential savings over a nearly-new supermini are soon negated, though.

    The designer of the chrome radiator grille and the designer of the rest of the boxy bodyshell appear to have never met. Terrible.


    Out of date, inefficient engines lead to poor fuel economy and incredibly high emissions figures for such a small car - over 150g/km with an auto 'box!


    Grip levels are reasonable by ultra-cheap city car standards, but the lack of ABS braking is a serious omission.


    Front seats lack support but are surprisingly comfortable over short distances. Cruising is very loud.

    Quality + reliability

    As the cheapest car on sale in Britain it's appropriate that the Kelisa possesses by far the cheapest-feeling cabin. It's truly dreadful.


    The three-cylinder engine spins sweetly enough and provides a decent urban turn of pace. Outside city limits, though, forget it - we've encountered faster glaciers.


    Poor rear seat space and a tiny boot, utility further knocked by the lack of a split in the folding rear seat.

    Running costs

    Good fuel economy and cheap servicing (if you can find a Perodua dealer) - although insurance is Group 3, which seems a bit high considering the total lack of urge.

    Value for money

    We can't see the Kelisa's low list price as being anything more than a false economy. A nearly-new mainstream supermini is a vastly better prospect.

    Stereo / Sat nav

    Aftermarket stereo is fiddly to operate and has tinny sound quality. Satnav? Buy an atlas...

    We like:

    1) To be honest, absolutely nothing

    We don't like:

    1) Appalling cabin.
    2) Lack of ABS brakes.
    3) Everything else.

    Car Magazine says:

    Steer Clear. "Lowest of lowest common denominators."

    4car says:

    Not recommended. "Verging on the masochistic."
  11. oldbaldy

    oldbaldy LE Moderator Good Egg (charities)
    1. Battlefield Tours

    Never come across anyone who admitted to owning a Metro before. Admire your style.
  12. My British Built Ital was a pile of crap. :lol:
  13. It was cheap, cheerful and a bag of shite.

    Very cheap.
  14. metro the car the MT Sgt gave you, when they realy wanted you too suffer.
  15. But my British built replacement for the Metro, a Nissan Micra was superb.

    Except for the Malaysian built German Blaupunkt radio/cassette.

    That was crap.