Making up the difference.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Ravers, Aug 25, 2011.

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  1. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    I had the flat valued last week and it turns out I'm sitting on a bit of a goldmine. Without boring you all with the details, I've worked out that I could jack in my job, move house, rent the flat out and I'd only be around 8 grand a year down.

    I'm now seriously considering this as an option for the future, not having the inconvenience of going to work everyday means I could spend a lot more time on my hobbies like smoking weed, looking at porn and learning to speak Chinese.

    Only problem is this 8 grand difference. I kind of need it to pay for things like food and diesel. I could probably just about survive without it but I'm used to having it around and I don't want to be eating any Tesco value shit or running a cheaper car etc.

    So in order to make up the difference, what novel ways could one bring in just 8 grand a year? Clearly it needs to be something that involves minimal effort and very little initial outlay.

    Any ideas? I'm thinking selling some crap on ebay might be a good start.
  2. Alsacien

    Alsacien LE Moderator

    From some of the titbits you've given us about your "job", you may be able to auction some of your activities to arrsers..... ;-)
  3. Become a rent boy. You only need to lie there whilst they use your hoop.

    Granted, you'd need to start forking out for manpons, but I'm sure that Jarrod could offer you some advice.
  4. Ditch the weed and replace with opiates; depressed appetite should save you £4k.
  5. You could save on your Electricity Bills by stopping posting shite threads like this.
  6. Complete at least a 22 year career in the armed forces and leave with an immediate pension. It's money for old rope if you excuse the almost quarter of a century of being fucked around.
    • Like Like x 1
  7. Flog yer arse around the rough ends of Personchester and Leicester. if you do it right, you'll make a mint before expiring of HIV related infections.

    More seriously, I am in a similar boat with a couple of properties in UK and one in Saigon, but also I have a full army pension. If you are still serving and what with all the cuts, you prolly wont get your pension until you are over 100 years old (and you'll have to show your telegram from HMQ at the Post Office, to collect it). So I sympathise. If you find the answer, do let me know because I too need a bit extra to pay for - not dope or anything - frippit. I would like to shag myself into an early grave. But to get the variety I crave, I need money for air fares, so I can do the Vn, Singers, Thailand, Cambodge, Laos and India trips as often as possible. It would suite me to have a house in each location and I am working on it.
  8. Move to India, you can live like a Lord on 8 grand per year.
    Go to Italy, join the naffia, that,s good for a time.
    Go back to work, that's if you can remember what work is.
    Sell your body for science, especially the brain, yours needs looking into.
    Get a really good suntan and move to the east end, you get cash for nothing there.
  9. No, but "learning to speak Chinese" might be a metaphor; had you considered that?
  10. Go on I'll fcuking ask it...."Whats a Meta for"
  11. If the Gyppo squatter thread is to be believed, you could go to Romania and get whatever dole the UK pays at the expense of the host country due to some EU regulation. That would mean that in two weeks you would have fucked the Romanian economy, and by week four, you would actually own the country, and the President/Prime Minister and his cabinet would have to trombone you on the hour outside the dole office in an attempt to make up the deficit. By week six you will have been crowned King Emperor Ravers The Perpetually Tumescent (you can choose your own name, but that one has style), and declare war on Britain. Due to armed forces cutbacks, you'll piss that one in, and take over Buckingahm Palace. Rent that out, then move back into your own flat and put your feet up.
    • Like Like x 1
  12. When you say Chinese, do you mean Chung Wah?
  13. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    Cheers dits.
  14. become a pimp!!!

    its fun, easy, just have a gash web site and take a few phone calls!! what more do you want
  15. Was thinking about the pimp bit myself. Just get a few of your sister's young mates around, fill their little mouths with vodka, wait an hour or so, have a quick test yourself then phone your pals up for some fanny fun. Obviously, stand at door and collect entrance fee, should take no more than 6 weeks for £8K. Sorted.