Make up sex?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Tartan_Terrier, Oct 31, 2007.

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  1. I was having a bit of a ponder to myself last night as I sat on the throne. I've often heard the term 'make up sex' used, and I've heard that it's much better than standard sex, but not having tried it myself, I wasn't sure of this was actually true.

    Now, as they say there isn't far from thought to deed, so I decided to give it a go as soon as I had finished the job in hand.

    As I was washing my hands I happened to glance at the shelf, and espied some of the other half's cosmetics. So within the space of a few minutes my bell end was a fetching shade of pink (Bewitching Coral 827, for the lipstick spotters).

    Luckily the missus was obliging (or it would have been a make up wnak instead), but to be perfectly honest, I couldn't feel any difference between this 'make up sex' and regular sex. In fact the only thing I noticed was a strange tinge to the wet patch on the sheets which worried the missus somewhat.

    Frankly I was disappointed.

    Was I using the wrong type of make up? Would I have been better with some foundation on my foreskin? Or blusher on my balls?

    Any advice would be much appreciated.
  2. Lucky she didnt think the make-up was anything else, or you'd be experiencing Break-up no-sex
  3. Pointless weirdo! :D
  4. ????? :?

    Strange......very strange.
  5. It's alright, I misread the thread title as "made-up sex" which is, I believe, what married men have to resort to after the kinder have been born...
  6. Tartan,

    I think you'll find it was 'MADE up sex' not make up sex you deaf duffus!

    We all make up sex, because we don't get enough...... allegedly!
  7. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    And to think, some people call me perverted!
  8. no it means "made up" sex. Thats where you say you had sex, but in reality you banged one out over an evans lingerie catalogue, ate three tubs of ice cream and then cried yourself to the sleep in the knowledge that your ex is now getting violated by the local rugby team.

    or is that just me?
  9. It's not some people OF&H, it's everyone for goodness sake.
  10. Make up/made up sex, is that a 'walt' thing?
  11. chrisg46

    chrisg46 LE Book Reviewer

    I actually think this is a very cunning wah....
  12. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    yet you say that like it is a bad thing :?
  13. How is it cunning?! It's blindingly obviously a piss take! :D

    I've always found that mascara around the two veg, with lipstick streaked up the meat a la go-faster stripes, works wonders.
  14. Do you use Max Factor's 2000 Calorie mascara?

    I find it makes my pubes look absolutely stunning, especially in combination with the blue eyeshadow on my testicles.
  15. Test it on animals first.