Make love the Yorkhire way

An Italian, a Frenchman and a Yorkshireman are talking in a bar. The conversation, as often happens, gets around to sex and the best ways of doing it.

“Da besta way a maker da love issa simple," said the Italian, "taka bottle a besta Italiano Chianti, pour ita over you a woman, massage ita over alla da body, then makka da mad passionate love for at least a hour. When you a finish she a be at least a inch offa da bed.”

“Pah!,” responds the Frog, “Zer eez a better way, oui. Take a bottle of ze best French champagne, pour eet ovverrr ze burrtiful French ‘oman, slowly leeek eet urf, zen make tenduur love to ‘er all night. By ze light of zer dawn she will be two inches off zer bed!”

“Neya lads,” says the Yorkshireman, “if it‘s levitation thy afta, wee Yorksha fowk av it licked. Nip on daahn ta thy local pub a' eeight o’clock, sup ten pints o' best bitta, then crash i' thru thy front door a' abaht 'un int' mornin. Spew tha guts up ont' 'all carpet, nip on upstairs, be sick orl o'a thy woman, jump on 'a 'n gi' 'a eur gran' shag for abaht twenty seconds tops 'n then when theur av finished climb off 'n wipe thy cock ont' bloody bedroam curtains 'n shi will clowt t' fookin' roof!”
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