Major Steve

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Quiet_Soldier, Jun 11, 2012.

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  1. Just made me laugh:


    My name is Major Steve ,, I am an British soldier in peace keeping force in
    Afghanistan, I am serving in the 16 Air Assault Brigade in Afghanistan,as
    you know insurgents everyday and car bombs are attacking us. On the other
    hand I want to inform you that I have in my possession the sum of
    US$7.3Million dollars in cash, which was recovered from one of our raids on
    terrorists here in Afghanistan, because they keep most of their money at
    home for evil activities which they normally get through illegal deals on
    crude oil.

    Based on the suffering we undergo here some of us do meet such luck.It
    happened that I went for this raid with the men in my unit and I decided to
    take it as my share for my stress here in this evil land filled with suicide

    I deposited this money with a red cross agent informing him that we are
    making contact for the real owner of the money.It is under my power to
    approve whoever comes forth for this money. I wish to use this money and
    invest anywhere in world because that is where i intend to move over with my
    family at my retirement.

    i am a uniformed man and I cannot be parading such an amount so I need to
    present someone as the beneficiary, and i need somebody i can trust and it
    would be wise working with somebody like you.If you accept,I will move the
    money out where you will be the beneficiary

    I am British soldier and an intelligence officer at that so I have 100%
    authentic means of transferring the money through diplomatic means. I just
    need your acceptance and all is done. Please if you are interested in this
    transaction, get back to me so that i will give to you the complete details
    you need for us to carry out this transaction successfully.

    Where we are now we can only communicate through our military communication
    facilities which is secured so nobody can monitor our emails.I will only
    reach you through email,because our calls might be monitored.

    If you are interested please send me your personal mobile number so I can
    call you for further inquiries when I am out of our military network.I am
    writing from a fresh email account so if you are not interested do not reply
    to this email and please delete this message. I am doing this on trust,you
    should understand and you should know that as a trained military expert I
    will always play safe in case you are the bad type,but I pray you are not.

    I wait for your response so we can go on. I will give to you 30% of the sum
    and 70% is for me. Reply to(
    Regard s,

    Major Steve,
  2. Is he of Nigerian descent?
  3. Absolute giveaway. Now, had he styled himself Colonel Steve...
  4. Anyone up for emailing him? Sounds like a bargain.
  5. I'll ping him now. Sounds like a laugh. All posts will be reported here, probably tomorrow, cos am knackered.

    First post:

    "Hey Steve! Ping me. Best wishes, [then usual sig]
  6. How come I never get these 419 e-mails?

    I feel left out
  7. No he.s probably a fucking Jamaican and if I catch him I will kill the cnut
  8. Dont be these people are major shitheads and that the only rank they ever reach
  9. I know what they are muggins.

    Ever seen the 419 baiters? Some of them are fookin hilarious
  10. I did. Here's the magnificent reply...

    "Hello [xxxx],

    I am a soldier and I am giving you this total blind trust because I am used
    to risk and I wish that you send me a scanned copy of your id card to
    guarantee my blind trust on you. You have to know that I have so much
    exclusive duties here to handle and I need to ship this fund out of this
    country as soon as possible so that I can concentrate on my duty post. This
    money was secretly secured in the war zone. We cannot go for bank to bank
    transfer because of the origin of the money and as Births Army soldier on
    war duty. Our activities are highly limited based on the military code of
    conduct of the Army we soldiers are not permitted to our personal
    transaction while on duty post. I have been into the Births Army force
    for many years. I wish to inform you that this is not my first experience
    in diplomatic shipment. Many times we have secured valuable items in the
    war zone and the only safe way of securing such item is through diplomatic

    The diplomatic shipment I will pay for the deposit fees and arrival
    clearance fees here before the box will depart.
    I want you to know that you are dealing with a force man and assure you
    that the diplomatic shipment will be safe for us. During departure, I will
    buy a diplomatic Tag with my name and the diplomatic yellow sticker will be
    placed on the box and that is also called non inspection sticker, no air
    port authority or security agent has the right to inspect or stop any
    diplomatic item. I have made some verification through the diplomatic
    courier company delivery directory and I was informed that there is no
    direct flight to any other country. This is an international UK diplomatic
    company which carries diplomatic vessels for overnight delivery to anywhere
    in the world.

    All consignment to any other country must be transited through Africa due
    to less security efficiency in the continent. Because of my duties and the
    military code of conduct, as soon as the box departs Afghanistan , I will no longer
    be directly involved. Based on my past experiences and information giving,
    there shall be another purchase of a new diplomatic tag to cover the
    transit departure of the box from Africa airport and its arrival in your
    country air port.

    The diplomatic non inspection sticker which I will purchase here will
    expire in Africa as soon as the box arrives there for transit and because
    they will change to another flight, you will have to request for another
    non inspection tag because you shall be contacted from their Africa
    regional office at the air port as the beneficiary to schedule the delivery
    date and time. You must remember to request the diplomatic tag from their
    France regional office and it will cost you less to buy. but Without you
    requesting for it, the diplomat will continue the transit and we will have
    problems at the arrival point in your country because the previous tag has
    expired in Africa and the airport authorities will inspect the box in your
    country and this will not be good for us and the money.

    This project is for your benefit and myself that is why we must work as
    partners to secure this money and you must read and re-read this mail over
    and over again to understand exactly what you need to do for the safety of
    the money. Also you must send me a scanned copy of any form of your id
    card or passport to guarantee my blind trust on you pending my arrival in
    your country any time this year as soon as I am out of my duty post for a

    I will also give to you there Transit company contact in Africa , so that
    you can be able to contact them on the shipment when they arrive there from Kabul.
    I do not have much time because this place is a war zone and I need to make
    this shipment as soon as possible. Kindly respond to this message to
    reconfirm the beneficiary information such as your full name, postal
    address and direct telephone for the shipment if you really want to do
    this project with me and let me know if you are not ready for the shipment
    to enable me look for options.

    1. Your full name, contact postal address
    2. Your phone and fax numbers.
    3. Occupation
    4. Your picture or id card

    As soon as i know your position as regards to this shipment, i will make
    the deposit the same day for the departure of the box to your house. i will
    attach my own pictures so you will no the person you are dealing with at
    your response of my mail. put away fear and everything will be fine. let us work as one family and achieve this goal.
    Major Steve"
  11. Mongo

    Mongo LE Reviewer

    He's been into the Births Army force for years? Must be nails!
  12. I'm tempted to go along with it and send him the details that he wants. I'll send him a dodgy ID mock up and see what happens.

    Am not sure how to fill in the form though. Advice please. I can sort out a false address.

    1. Your full name, contact postal address
    2. Your phone and fax numbers. The number for the Fraud Squad
    3. Occupation
    4. Your picture or id card

    I'll bung it on here before I send it.
    • Like Like x 2
  13. Willoughby Q. Knobdancer


    Gusset Reconditioning Technician

    Dodgy ID of choice

    Edited to add - The fraud squad number sounds like a winner.
  14. What could possibly go wrong?
    • Like Like x 1
  15. He says that he is an Intelligence Officer, but is he an Intelligent Officer?