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Major Steve

#1
Just made me laugh:

Greetings,

My name is Major Steve ,, I am an British soldier in peace keeping force in
Afghanistan, I am serving in the 16 Air Assault Brigade in Afghanistan,as
you know insurgents everyday and car bombs are attacking us. On the other
hand I want to inform you that I have in my possession the sum of
US$7.3Million dollars in cash, which was recovered from one of our raids on
terrorists here in Afghanistan, because they keep most of their money at
home for evil activities which they normally get through illegal deals on
crude oil.

Based on the suffering we undergo here some of us do meet such luck.It
happened that I went for this raid with the men in my unit and I decided to
take it as my share for my stress here in this evil land filled with suicide
bombers.

I deposited this money with a red cross agent informing him that we are
making contact for the real owner of the money.It is under my power to
approve whoever comes forth for this money. I wish to use this money and
invest anywhere in world because that is where i intend to move over with my
family at my retirement.

i am a uniformed man and I cannot be parading such an amount so I need to
present someone as the beneficiary, and i need somebody i can trust and it
would be wise working with somebody like you.If you accept,I will move the
money out where you will be the beneficiary

I am British soldier and an intelligence officer at that so I have 100%
authentic means of transferring the money through diplomatic means. I just
need your acceptance and all is done. Please if you are interested in this
transaction, get back to me so that i will give to you the complete details
you need for us to carry out this transaction successfully.

Where we are now we can only communicate through our military communication
facilities which is secured so nobody can monitor our emails.I will only
reach you through email,because our calls might be monitored.

If you are interested please send me your personal mobile number so I can
call you for further inquiries when I am out of our military network.I am
writing from a fresh email account so if you are not interested do not reply
to this email and please delete this message. I am doing this on trust,you
should understand and you should know that as a trained military expert I
will always play safe in case you are the bad type,but I pray you are not.

I wait for your response so we can go on. I will give to you 30% of the sum
and 70% is for me. Reply to(stevebill79@hotmail.com)
Regard s,

Major Steve,
 
#10
Anyone up for emailing him? Sounds like a bargain.
I did. Here's the magnificent reply...

"Hello [xxxx],

I am a soldier and I am giving you this total blind trust because I am used
to risk and I wish that you send me a scanned copy of your id card to
guarantee my blind trust on you. You have to know that I have so much
exclusive duties here to handle and I need to ship this fund out of this
country as soon as possible so that I can concentrate on my duty post. This
money was secretly secured in the war zone. We cannot go for bank to bank
transfer because of the origin of the money and as Births Army soldier on
war duty. Our activities are highly limited based on the military code of
conduct of the Army we soldiers are not permitted to our personal
transaction while on duty post. I have been into the Births Army force
for many years. I wish to inform you that this is not my first experience
in diplomatic shipment. Many times we have secured valuable items in the
war zone and the only safe way of securing such item is through diplomatic
shipment.

The diplomatic shipment I will pay for the deposit fees and arrival
clearance fees here before the box will depart.
I want you to know that you are dealing with a force man and assure you
that the diplomatic shipment will be safe for us. During departure, I will
buy a diplomatic Tag with my name and the diplomatic yellow sticker will be
placed on the box and that is also called non inspection sticker, no air
port authority or security agent has the right to inspect or stop any
diplomatic item. I have made some verification through the diplomatic
courier company delivery directory and I was informed that there is no
direct flight to any other country. This is an international UK diplomatic
company which carries diplomatic vessels for overnight delivery to anywhere
in the world.

All consignment to any other country must be transited through Africa due
to less security efficiency in the continent. Because of my duties and the
military code of conduct, as soon as the box departs Afghanistan , I will no longer
be directly involved. Based on my past experiences and information giving,
there shall be another purchase of a new diplomatic tag to cover the
transit departure of the box from Africa airport and its arrival in your
country air port.

The diplomatic non inspection sticker which I will purchase here will
expire in Africa as soon as the box arrives there for transit and because
they will change to another flight, you will have to request for another
non inspection tag because you shall be contacted from their Africa
regional office at the air port as the beneficiary to schedule the delivery
date and time. You must remember to request the diplomatic tag from their
France regional office and it will cost you less to buy. but Without you
requesting for it, the diplomat will continue the transit and we will have
problems at the arrival point in your country because the previous tag has
expired in Africa and the airport authorities will inspect the box in your
country and this will not be good for us and the money.

This project is for your benefit and myself that is why we must work as
partners to secure this money and you must read and re-read this mail over
and over again to understand exactly what you need to do for the safety of
the money. Also you must send me a scanned copy of any form of your id
card or passport to guarantee my blind trust on you pending my arrival in
your country any time this year as soon as I am out of my duty post for a
leave.

I will also give to you there Transit company contact in Africa , so that
you can be able to contact them on the shipment when they arrive there from Kabul.
I do not have much time because this place is a war zone and I need to make
this shipment as soon as possible. Kindly respond to this message to
reconfirm the beneficiary information such as your full name, postal
address and direct telephone for the shipment if you really want to do
this project with me and let me know if you are not ready for the shipment
to enable me look for options.

1. Your full name, contact postal address
2. Your phone and fax numbers.
3. Occupation
4. Your picture or id card

As soon as i know your position as regards to this shipment, i will make
the deposit the same day for the departure of the box to your house. i will
attach my own pictures so you will no the person you are dealing with at
your response of my mail. put away fear and everything will be fine. let us work as one family and achieve this goal.
Thanks,
Major Steve"
 
#12
They actually reply..? Whats the next move for KoTB?
I'm tempted to go along with it and send him the details that he wants. I'll send him a dodgy ID mock up and see what happens.

Am not sure how to fill in the form though. Advice please. I can sort out a false address.

1. Your full name, contact postal address
2. Your phone and fax numbers. The number for the Fraud Squad
3. Occupation
4. Your picture or id card

I'll bung it on here before I send it.
 
#13
Willoughby Q. Knobdancer

+234-4244-3071

Gusset Reconditioning Technician

Dodgy ID of choice


Edited to add - The fraud squad number sounds like a winner.
 
#14
I did. Here's the magnificent reply...

"Hello [xxxx],

I am a soldier and I am giving you this total blind trust because I am used
to risk and I wish that you send me a scanned copy of your id card to
guarantee my blind trust on you. You have to know that I have so much
exclusive duties here to handle and I need to ship this fund out of this
country as soon as possible so that I can concentrate on my duty post. This
money was secretly secured in the war zone. We cannot go for bank to bank
transfer because of the origin of the money and as Births Army soldier on
war duty. Our activities are highly limited based on the military code of
conduct of the Army we soldiers are not permitted to our personal
transaction while on duty post. I have been into the Births Army force
for many years. I wish to inform you that this is not my first experience
in diplomatic shipment. Many times we have secured valuable items in the
war zone and the only safe way of securing such item is through diplomatic
shipment.

The diplomatic shipment I will pay for the deposit fees and arrival
clearance fees here before the box will depart.
I want you to know that you are dealing with a force man and assure you
that the diplomatic shipment will be safe for us. During departure, I will
buy a diplomatic Tag with my name and the diplomatic yellow sticker will be
placed on the box and that is also called non inspection sticker, no air
port authority or security agent has the right to inspect or stop any
diplomatic item. I have made some verification through the diplomatic
courier company delivery directory and I was informed that there is no
direct flight to any other country. This is an international UK diplomatic
company which carries diplomatic vessels for overnight delivery to anywhere
in the world.

All consignment to any other country must be transited through Africa due
to less security efficiency in the continent. Because of my duties and the
military code of conduct, as soon as the box departs Afghanistan , I will no longer
be directly involved. Based on my past experiences and information giving,
there shall be another purchase of a new diplomatic tag to cover the
transit departure of the box from Africa airport and its arrival in your
country air port.

The diplomatic non inspection sticker which I will purchase here will
expire in Africa as soon as the box arrives there for transit and because
they will change to another flight, you will have to request for another
non inspection tag because you shall be contacted from their Africa
regional office at the air port as the beneficiary to schedule the delivery
date and time. You must remember to request the diplomatic tag from their
France regional office and it will cost you less to buy. but Without you
requesting for it, the diplomat will continue the transit and we will have
problems at the arrival point in your country because the previous tag has
expired in Africa and the airport authorities will inspect the box in your
country and this will not be good for us and the money.

This project is for your benefit and myself that is why we must work as
partners to secure this money and you must read and re-read this mail over
and over again to understand exactly what you need to do for the safety of
the money. Also you must send me a scanned copy of any form of your id
card or passport to guarantee my blind trust on you pending my arrival in
your country any time this year as soon as I am out of my duty post for a
leave.

I will also give to you there Transit company contact in Africa , so that
you can be able to contact them on the shipment when they arrive there from Kabul.
I do not have much time because this place is a war zone and I need to make
this shipment as soon as possible. Kindly respond to this message to
reconfirm the beneficiary information such as your full name, postal
address and direct telephone for the shipment if you really want to do
this project with me and let me know if you are not ready for the shipment
to enable me look for options.

1. Your full name, contact postal address
2. Your phone and fax numbers.
3. Occupation
4. Your picture or id card

As soon as i know your position as regards to this shipment, i will make
the deposit the same day for the departure of the box to your house. i will
attach my own pictures so you will no the person you are dealing with at
your response of my mail. put away fear and everything will be fine. let us work as one family and achieve this goal.
Thanks,
Major Steve"
What could possibly go wrong?
 
#16
Willoughby Q. Knobdancer

+234-4244-3071

Gusset Reconditioning Technician

Dodgy ID of choice


Edited to add - The fraud squad number sounds like a winner.
I thought I'd put the NCIS contact details on and stick this up as a MOD 90. He doesn't seem to know much about the UK or indeed much English, so he might bite. Unless you think it's not subtle enough.
 

Attachments

#18
I'm tempted to go along with it and send him the details that he wants. I'll send him a dodgy ID mock up and see what happens.

Am not sure how to fill in the form though. Advice please. I can sort out a false address.

1. Your full name, contact postal address
2. Your phone and fax numbers. The number for the Fraud Squad
3. Occupation
4. Your picture or id card

I'll bung it on here before I send it.
You are my fucking hero!

I hereby nominate you for Arrse diplomatic chargee d'affaires.

Ask him if he knows Tierny.
 
#19
I thought I'd put the NCIS contact details on and stick this up as a MOD 90. He doesn't seem to know much about the UK or indeed much English, so he might bite. Unless you think it's not subtle enough.
I'd lose the Sean Connery. Chances are he's seen Bond and you don't want him to twig too soon. must be anonymous picks you could use off google
 
#20
Fucking good shit.

Also ask him if he could pop a quick message to your buddy who is also in "16 Air Assult Brigade" to let him know you're thinking of him ;)

My dad actually got given a book with some of the funniest replies to scammers. One guy actually gets the african scammer to send HIM money.
 

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