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Made me laugh anyway

#1
One thing about blokes from Scotland is that their hearts and humour are always in the right place!

Jimmy MacDonald, a City Councillor from Glasgow, was asked on a local live radio talk show, just what he thought about the allegations of torture of suspected terrorists.
His reply prompted his ejection from the studio, but to thunderous applause from the audience.

HIS STATEMENT:

'If hooking up one rag head terrorist's testicles to a car battery gets the truth out of the lying little camel shagger to save just one Scottish soldiers life, then I have only three things to say, Red is positive, Black is negative, and make sure his nuts are wet.'
 
#5
At the time of the Glasgow airport attempted car bomb, when the bomber ran, aflame into the airport. I saw a oateater on the telly news purporting to be eye witness state; 'when you see a man on fire in Glasgow you just assume he was trying to light a bbq.'

Pure poetry.
 

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