Madame Vice

I have my first formal dinner night coming up at the end of the month, i have a prayer just about sorted, am stuck on ideas to entertain the mess for 5 - 10 minutes ! Wives and partners will also be attending, so that rules out naked bar !
Am pretty stuck, please help me !!!!
Coops, if you were at 16 SIGS in 2005, I think I know you!

You'll probably just get pissed and naked anyway, no matter what you planned.

Although you didn't at Nijmegen (to my lasting regret!)
Get some jokes of this site. If you're sh1te, you'll get hammered and then be expected to go home early. You don't want to be left out in the cold all night do you? Don't use FHM jokes cos every one will have heard them. Go to the Mr Vice forum on this site as well, if you've got a ladies night throw in a couple of divorce jokes as well, i did and they went down a treat. Avoid the Lady Poof stuff like the plague!!!
box-of-frogs said:
Madame Vice?? No, no, no! Surely its still Mr Vice?
The full title would be...

Mr Vice-President of the Entertainments Commitee.

Thus the feminine Madame Vice-President of the Entertainments Commitee is perfectly acceptable.
I was at 16 sigs, and no i didnt get naked for the marches, would have been inappropriate i reckon !
I'm proper stuck on what to do help...
I thought about organised chaos ! i'm pretty good at that ! proper pump at telling jokes, i never remember them !
reckon my razzer might go mental if i just get naked ! lol
Auld-Yin said:
Zulu Warrior!

I am sure you can stretch that out for about 10 mins.:twisted:
A further 10 minutes for those present to stop laughing, when my president is waving at you, HOW many fingers?

Followed by a written apology to all Lady Wives present and the next time you have mess members ONLY night, your nuts being used for Mess Rugby, or did I dream that once . . . . :wink:

And if you are very unlucky a visit from the local Police after a tip off . . yours . . . :wink:
Do what the **** you want, it's your moment. If the WAGs get excited, I suggest that they go stand up in the pub all night. They might lose some weight off their fat arrses.

In my experience, the biggest hecklers are the oxygen thieves who don't have a life outside the perimeter fence.

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